Wow, it has been over a year I think since I have posted here. I forgot how much I love reading the other blogs on blogger party. My life has been a series of chaotic changes over the last year. Not all bad necessarily but I have to admit that I am not one of those roll with the punches kind of gals so any change, good or bad, can cause me to feel completely overwhelmed and unsure of everything. I just recently had a bout of feeling very unsure of my relationship. We've been together five years and have two small children. Our relationship was still in the infancy stage when we started having babies. We have learned so much about ourselves and each other but our lives are so completely focused around our children that we don't recognize when progress is being made with our relationship issues. You know those cyclical problems that you argue about over and over again but hopefully with each new argument something even just a little bit different gets said which leads to a tiny nugget of understanding that was not there when last this topic was discussed. Progress. On the other hand, as I was feeling yesterday, maybe there really has not been enough progress and what are we really doing here anyway. We haven't really connected in months and I feel lonely and pissed off. Well no kidding seeing as how we hardly ever see each other and when we do we have toddlers using our bodies as jungle gyms while we are sitting on the living room floor trying to have a conversation and fold laundry at the same time. Rationally I can understand why we might be feeling less connected than I would like but my wee little ego likes to take things he does personally, such as spending too much time on the computer. Do you love that damn computer more than me? Why do you need to spend so much time on the computer, are we really that bad to be with? Or he is spacing out when we finally have some time just the two of us and he isn't listening to a word I've said. Men and women have such different needs it's mind boggling how we can have any understanding at all. Compromise, that is something that we are both very good at and has probably been a key to our survival. He is such a wonderful father to our children, that is something I cannot overlook. Right now I am feeling like I love him very much. Ah, women...... ;)