You Can't Win Them All

Most of us have heard the phrase, "You can’t win them all," many, many times, and, perhaps, even used it ourselves. There is a lot of truth in the statement, so it is probably a good idea, to not even try. Wise people pick their battles carefully, choosing to fight only when they know they can win, or when a principle they cannot bear to see compromised is at stake.

When we are children, we find out that there are certain bullies in the class that we, in most cases, make every effort to avoid. True, there are times when the behavior of the bully goes beyond what we can accept and we choose to fight, no matter what the outcome, but, in general, we avoid confrontation with cantankerous foes.

Later, as parents, we find ourselves in the age-old battle of parents vs. teens. If we are wise, we avoid the run-of-the-mill ups and downs of daily conflict and choose only the battles that we feel are worth a serious confrontation.

In other matters of our lives, it should be the same. We first need to look carefully at a problem. Does a problem really exist at all, or are we making a mountain out of a molehill? Secondly, if a problem actually does exist, why not look for a peaceful solution. If the problem seems insurmountable, decide whether or not it is worth a battle.

Compromise is usually a great idea since everyone ends up gaining a little bit, and no one loses completely. If compromise is impossible, how about simply agreeing to disagree? Some families live for years with a problem by using compromise or letting the problem alone, and they feel very comfortable with the outcome.

Sometimes, we face an event that can’t be avoided, ignored, or compromised upon, and the situation escalates until one party or the other decides outside help is needed. This help can come in the form of advice from a friend or minister, professional counseling, or seeking a solution through the courts.

Although I would recommend outside counseling in difficult cases, I think that bringing a lawsuit against someone should only be considered as a last resort.

To me, cases that might need legal intervention would be child custody cases, defamation of character, medical malpractice, or fraud of some kind. The next-door neighbor burning trash on a “no-burn