You Can't Win Them All

Most of us have heard the phrase, "You can’t win them all," many, many times, and, perhaps, even used it ourselves. There is a lot of truth in the statement, so it is probably a good idea, to not even try. Wise people pick their battles carefully, choosing to fight only when they know they can win, or when a principle they cannot bear to see compromised is at stake.

When we are children, we find out that there are certain bullies in the class that we, in most cases, make every effort to avoid. True, there are times when the behavior of the bully goes beyond what we can accept and we choose to fight, no matter what the outcome, but, in general, we avoid confrontation with cantankerous foes.

Later, as parents, we find ourselves in the age-old battle of parents vs. teens. If we are wise, we avoid the run-of-the-mill ups and downs of daily conflict and choose only the battles that we feel are worth a serious confrontation.

In other matters of our lives, it should be the same. We first need to look carefully at a problem. Does a problem really exist at all, or are we making a mountain out of a molehill? Secondly, if a problem actually does exist, why not look for a peaceful solution. If the problem seems insurmountable, decide whether or not it is worth a battle.

Compromise is usually a great idea since everyone ends up gaining a little bit, and no one loses completely. If compromise is impossible, how about simply agreeing to disagree? Some families live for years with a problem by using compromise or letting the problem alone, and they feel very comfortable with the outcome.

Sometimes, we face an event that can’t be avoided, ignored, or compromised upon, and the situation escalates until one party or the other decides outside help is needed. This help can come in the form of advice from a friend or minister, professional counseling, or seeking a solution through the courts.

Although I would recommend outside counseling in difficult cases, I think that bringing a lawsuit against someone should only be considered as a last resort.

Don’t misunderstand; I am not saying that it is never okay to sue someone. Instead, I am saying, that we need to exhaust other possible solutions first, and then, if we are sure that our case is just, to call in someone who can do what needs to be done.

I recently read of the case of Nancy Burpee, a U.S. athlete who suffers from Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, a genetic disease which causes deterioration of the connective tissues of her body. She has suffered many setbacks in her life due to her disease, but has managed to become a world class champion swimmer.

Unfortunately, even though she was doing a wonderful job in the 2004 Paralympic games, an Australian judge disqualified her on a technicality. This must have been a devastating blow to Nancy and she employed simmons jannace & stagg to represent her during the arbitration procedure. Unfortunately, the arbiters ruled against Nancy in this case, but she continues to compete, and will take part in the world championships next year.

I believe that Nancy’s case, where her reputation, and perhaps her entire future career, was being affected by a wrong ruling, was an acceptable cause for using an attorney. Even though the ruling went against her, the attention drawn to the case has, hopefully, resulted in more attention being paid to the paralympic judging system in future paralympic events.

It just goes to show you that you really can’t win them all, so pick your battles very carefully.