Yes...Yes I KNOW....I KNOW it Rambles.....I'm Drunk, What do You Expect?

Hey folks, Smittius here. Long time, I know. Writers block. You can all relate I'm sure. Pisses me off, and I'll tell you why.

Why is it we, as writers, impose blocks upon ourselves? Think about that for a minute. Why? There's no good, logical reason other than our own fear of failure (or greatness) and the judgment of others. But, here's the rub....as a writer, if you so choose, YOU are the only one that need read it. If it's crap, it's crap....but only you will know. But no. We have colossal egos as writers, actually thinking that EVERYONE else gives a shit about what we have to say, therefore we had better say something profound. The truth is, MOST people don't care and have better things to do (in their perspective) with their lives. Some people do appreciate our work, but chances are they are like minded people that won't judge us anyway for fear of reprisal. But, did you ever think, maybe they (people who read your stuff and stuff) aren't judging you? Ever think they read your work because you ARE a good writer, dammit, and they like what they've read? No, of course not. We are our own worst critics, our own harshest editors, our own source of pain and suffering. Writing is supposed to be FUN....to be an EXPRESSION....it is NOT supposed to be an exercise in the so-called author's soul-torture and mind rending until they are gibbering like a mentally polarized waste-case in the corner for a couple of hours because they've totally missed our their own point, or indeed never had one in the first damned place. Makes you think...Hmmmm...It’s a wonder so many writers have been drug-and-alcohol abusers huh? Don't you love that categorization? Drugs AND alcohol. Funny, but I always remember being taught that scientifically, chemically, and biologically that alcohol IS a drug. In fact, it's the worst and most damaging because it is the most frequently abused. It's also the ONLY legal drug that is out there, with the exception of prescription drugs. Drug companies, drug abusers, insurance. Pay-offs. Rip-offs. Forget Big-Drug, I simply don't have the energy right now. If they called alcohol a "drug" like it's scientifically classified, they would have to make it illegal. Why? Because, as the ineffable Mr. Mackey taught us over and over again that, and I quote: "Drugs are bad, MMMMMKay?" But booze is good, and used and abused and re-used and causes abuse so often that it cannot be taken away. What will they drink at NRA meetings? Punch....HA!

So we are left with the alternatives, for us as humans must find SOMETHING to abuse. Pot? Forget it.....too much laziness. Coke? No way! Who wants a bunch of people grinding their teeth and talking a mile a minute when they're as a silent as a mouse usually? Anything that has that much effect on a personality is scary. Heroin? See above, and combine both examples at different times of the buzz, and throw in the pawning of your mother's television set to boot. Crack? Not enough socialization to tell you a personal relation, but I do know that once you suck on that glass dick, there's no going back to any kind of reality (or unreality, depending on your life view and perspective). Crack's less expensive than heroin, so instead of the TV, it may be her curling iron. Either way, Vinnie the Nose is gettin somethin today.

Drugs are considered "worse" than alcohol, no matter what kind of drug they are. That's ironic, since I have NEVER seen a pothead go through a 12 step program to quit, or ruin their entire family and life simply by hitting a few bongs every-day. I HAVE seen all of the above happen with alcoholics, the family aspect too many times to want to write about. No, potheads don't do the 12 steps. They simply dust off their filthy shirts, pick up a paper and wait for the words to sort out so they can find a job. Potheads are all around us. They are our teachers, our lawyers, our friends, our parents, sometimes even our GRAND-parents. Yet they are condemned to a life of secrecy and shame because weed (ganja, MJ, reef, toke, smoke, blah-DOW, buddha, greenies, trees, sage-a-millia, etc etc etc...),a drug that is PROVEN to be less physically and psychologically damaging when abused than alcohol, is considered by many to be a hateful pox upon the heads of anyone unfortunate enough to come in contact with it. Our children are lazy enough, they say, without the mixture of Mary-Jane added in for extra relaxation. They are unfocused enough, they say, without the distractions of this so-called "Hallucinogen." (From experience, I'll tell you that if weed IS a hallucinogen, then I've been living a distorted existence for some time. Sometimes, I think I may be. Oh good, the Moles are here with my sunglasses.) They love their video games enough, they say, without the aid of Mary-Jane's pull, her sting of apathy and lethargy causing them to spend MORE time on the couch and less with their families. I know this may not be making a lot of sense, but I am drunk. If you're wondering how I can spell so well, I'm using WORD /w Spell-Check before I submit. Not that you care. I digress.

No, potheads may not be nearly as dangerous (or obnoxious) as drunks, but the world will never turn to it as an alternative. See, it's been socialized into our consciousness, this "good" and "bad" of drug terminology. Are any of them good? No, save some (and I HEAVILY emphasize the SOME) prescription drugs and healing medicines. We have a much bigger epidemic (a pandemic, perhaps?) on our hands.

That problem, my friends, is this :Drunks and pill-poppers are running the world and must be STOPPED! How else to explain the 911 debacle? Iran? Israel? Palestine? Iraq? Afghanistan? Hurricane Katrina relief? Valerie Plame Wilson? Domestic wire-tapping? Canada joining the war in Iraq (NOT our war, by the way, PM Harper . Line up, red-blooded Americans, and prepare to stomp me, beat me, berate me, fillet me, torture me, execute me, or HEAVEN'S NO! make me a member of the Presidential cabinet for being UN-patriotic. Another rub for ya. I'm not American. I'm Canadian and we simply shouldn't be there. At all. Taking fire for your troops, and dying en masse as a peaceful and peace-keeping nation. How is dying for another country's financial and geo-political interest inherently purposeful? How is it RIGHT? How can we not SEE this, Goddammit!?!?!?) The people running these countries, these wars, these economies, these fucking PEOPLE......must be drunk or high. At least I hope to high-fucking-HELL that they are. That'd be a much more pleasant way to look at things that the looming entity of awful truth: they LIKE it this way. Big Brother uses our sweat as massage oil. Big Brother uses our blood as cologne. Big Brother revels in the mysteries it creates, and the disconsolate times we have as lesser beings trying to solve said puzzles. Big Brother looms in the form of a computer screen, a bottle of Absenthe, a missed turn on your drive home. Watch for him. He's watching you, spanning the Globe itself, and unless you're one of the blessed he doesn't like what he sees. Should you shape up?

Nah...be yourself, with all the weirdness and ridiculousness that comes along. If Douglas Adams has taught me anything (OH, and he HAS, I tell you, even though I never had the pleasure of meeting the man. RIP, Douglas) it's that the Universe itself is random and pointless. There are things going on right now that have no effect on me whatsoever. Billions, trillions, quantooflefillions of things. Does it bother me? Of course it does. But that's because I REALIZE (or at least conceive) that they are happening, and am naturally a curious person. Can I do anything about them? Absolutely not. So all I can do is be the best Sir Smittius of Maxima I can be and protect my kingdom in any way possible. And it's left to you to do the same in your own personal Kingdom. Writing helps. I'll tell you this: the pen IS mightier than the sword, but only due to convenience. Ever held a REAL sword? Man, those people were fucking STRONG as hell to carry let alone WIELD the damned things. There's no way a marshmallow cake bred today could fight their way out of an empty bog with one, therefore the pen is much easier to carry, even if it IS as difficult at times to wield (and just as bloody.)

What's my point? Do I have one? Are there many? You figure it out, and take from this all kinds of General Mish-Mash (thanks, Douglas) what you will into your daily life. This is certainly not my best blog, but I'm going to post it anyhow. Why? Because I'm drunk, so I don't have the usual "crap" filters in my brain to scream at me that "They will make fun of you. They will harass you. They will ridicule you. They might even LIKE you." No, no filters tonight. This blog, let's face it....It's crap.....and I'm embracing the WHO CARES??!?!?! aspect of things. You'll read it or you won't. Either way, the sun will still rise and I'll still be hung-over. Thanks for your time. GO OILERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BRING LORD STANLEY HOME, HE MISSES US!!!!!

Sir Smittius