TXKJUN's picture

WRITING OFF A CHILD!

bail | jail.abuse | Lies

If you had an opportunity to read this post. Free Ride Then you know in 1997 I adopted a 13 year old son. I have been trying to get in touch with him for days. It’s strange because if I get his voice mail he usually calls me back within minutes. For four days now I go straight to voice mail and no call back.

On Saturday I get a collect call from a correctional institution. It’s Cory. He was arrested on Friday morning and brought to Williamson County Jail. Cory is a master manipulator and compulsive liar. I asked why he was arrested and he told me that he was arguing with his girlfriend in the street and when the sheriff rolled up he ran from them. I asked if he abused his girlfriend and was told no. He knows how I feel about men that hit women. I made it perfectly clear to him through the years that he is no man if he raises his fists to a woman. I was raised with 4 sisters and was taught at a very young age that a man should never strike a woman EVER!!

Cory told me during our first call that if I didn’t get him out in the next few days that he would have to spend up to six months locked up. He said that if I got him out he would need a bus ticket out of town. During our second call he asked if I would come to the jail and sign the bond $15,000.00. He must have forgotten that he basically told me that he planned to skip bail. He was a little upset that I told him NO!! I then asked again if he put his hands on Erin (the girlfriend).

I refused to bail him out for two reasons. 1) He is a major flight risk and I would be stuck paying the $15,000.00 and 2) I went online and obtained his arrest record and it proves that once again he flat out lied to me. Check this out:

Williamson County, Texas
Jail ID# 265766
Williamson County Sheriffs Office
Confined 09/01/2007

DEFENDANT MeNeeley Cory Alan
White Male 6’ 200 10/07/1982
Hair Brown
Eyes Blue
SO# 07-107590
Cause:ONSITE/2 Charge:ASSLT CAUSES BODILY INJURY FAMILY VIOLENCE Disposition:09/01/2007-HELD Bond:$10,000.
Cause:ONSITE/2 Charge:EVADING ARREST DETENTION Disposition:09/01/2007-HELD Bond:$1500.
Cause:ONSITE/2 INTERFER WITH 911 EMERGENCY CALL Disposition:09/01/2007-HELD Bond:$1500.00
Cause:718591 BF(DWLI)DRIVING UNDER SUSPENSION Disposition:09/01/2007-HELD Bond:$2000.
IT WAS ALL THERE IN BLACK AND WHITE!!

I asked again what he was arrested for and was told the same thing. I told him I was going to give him one more chance to come clean and asked again what he was arrested for. The phone went dead when I told him about the print out. I think that over the years I have gone above and beyond the call of duty with this kid.

I don’t think this will qualify me as a bad parent. He is old enough now to be completely responsible for all of his actions. So far someone has always bailed him out. Not this time!! . I will wash my hands of him this time and will offer no help or guidance. My commitment to him ends here and now!!

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ammorton's picture

Sometimes, as hard as it is, that is what you have to do

If you keep bailing them out, they will never learn anything. It will be a repeated process over and over. Your right, You gave him ample opportunity to tell you the truth and he chose not to.
He is old enough to make the choices he made to get him into this trouble in the first place, so now he can be old enough to take the punishment. I would do exactly as you have and let it go. If he choses later to change his life and decide to act like an adult, he wont forget you or hold it against you, he will understand and will probably contact you. For now, I think your doing the right thing, as hard as it can be.

I quite agree with our Ammorton, our TXKJUN.

Sometimes stepping away is the only thing a parent can do. I do not have a child, so I do not know how it feels. But I am quite certain that being a good parent does not entail catering, being at a child's beck and call. The parent has responsibilities to the child, but the child also has responsibilities to his parent and himself, and these grow as he ages. Therefore, he must, at some point, learn to be accountable for his actions if he is to become a whole and decent human being. Surely, he will never do so if he does not come to suffer the consequences, if his every fall is padded by parental cushioning. It seems you have tried your best, our TXKJUN. Hopefully, your son will come to see the error of his ways for himself, something you cannot do for him. He must see with his eyes, not yours. May it be soon.

Take heart, my dear TXKJUN. The young man may change, yet. The world brims with individuals who transformed for the better. Be comforted in that hope.

spookyyank's picture

wow, txkjun

This really sucks! I'm so sorry to hear about this. I know you've gone through a lot with him over the years and this must really hurt. Give it time and maybe by not bailing him out it will help in the long run. Don't give up completely. Just let him know that you won't be saving his butt anymore.
On another note ~ how's your daughter and the car thing going? How about Bubba? How's he doing in school so far? Can you believe that NOW Nella is saying his name right! Evil little thing!

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Catfish's picture

You're doing the right thing TXKJUN,...

you can only come to the defense so many times before it becomes apparent that there's no turning him around, let alone saving him, unless he decides to do it himself. I only hope that you're safe later on, because it sounds like he's the type who'd try to get even for a perceived slight. Take care of yourself, you hear?

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Tough Love...

Sassys

I know exactly what you are going thru, and you are doing the only thing you really can do. It will be rough for a little while, but the choices made by this kid scream for the kind of help you are not qualified to give him. This is his wake up call.

TXKJUN's picture

Deleted double comment

Deleted double comment

TXKJUN's picture

Thanks ammorton,Inquest of a Woman,catfish spooky and sassys

It sure has been a long tough road with this kid. He has been kicked out of 2 high schools, thrown out of the Job Corps 2 weeks before graduation (atuo mechanics course)for shoplifting and thrown out of the Army on a drug and alcohol abuse discharge. He has 4 children from 4 women and only claims 2 and takes care of none. He was locked up for domestic violence once before because he beat up Nikki one of his childrens mothers. When he was released he was a worse criminal than before because while he was in prison he met a guy that taught him how to cook crystal meth. Needless to say he did time for dealing drugs. Don't worry catfish, he came at me one night in the barn while he was drunk and I had to light his ass up. He knows I'm not the type to put up with a lot of shit. The next day I overheard him telling someone that he thought I was going to kill him and he would never mess with me again. My Irish temper has mellowed with age but this kid has a way of bringing out the worst in me. I don't think I expect to much from him. I treated him the same as I treated all my kids. Only I never had to light up my girls or Bubba. I love the kid like he was my biological child but I have to draw the line here and let him go this one alone.

BohemianBabe's picture

I agree... When you can

I agree... When you can always count on someone to bail you out you nevr learn to deal with the consequences for your actions. I'm sure he will be pissed, but it will teach him more letting him deal with what he's done.

Regina

Viva La Vie Boheme!
Blogging about Bohemian Living

TXKJUN's picture

So true BohemianBabe

He has always depended on others to fix his mistakes. He lived in TN for over a year and was unemployed the whole time. He was living off one of his kids mothers and her husband for 4-5 months. When they finally kicked him out he moved in with his girlfriend and she supported him for months. He is so good at manipulating people that she supported him for 2 months AFTER he moved out and came back to Texas. He really put that poor girl behind the 8 ball financially. I am done with him!!!

ms zola's picture

Sometimes you just have to let

people suffer the consequences of their actions. If he one day wants to straighten his life up, then help him as you can. Until then? There is nothing you can do until one day he wakes up under a bridge and wonders how he got there and how he can change.

I know you are a good parent and a caring father. Sometimes, it's the nature and not the nurture of a kid gone bad.

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