I like to do anything creative. I know I'm in the same boat with about half the world, so it seems. You name it, I've probably done it. I would just like to get paid to do it one day. These are my aspirations and my dreams. The problem is seeing them come to light. It's just hard as hell to break in. I love the hypocritcal double standard (for new writers) that you cannot get an agent unless you've been published and that companies or whoever will not consider your work unless you have an agent. The system's designed to keep folks out. I understand this completely. It's a competitive field and there are a lot of bozos out there, like myself, that think they got what it takes. I understand that. I just hate how the whole process is done. I'm sick of query letters, synopsis' and treatments. The rejection letters pile up and you just get discouraged. It's hard when your talents have to be summed up in a paragraph or sample and that someone with usually no authority will give you the green light or thumbs down based on that sole paragraph or sample. So, the months pass by and people start to doubt you, but you keep telling them "You'll see." You smile and tell yourself that, but you know they think your wishing on a hopeless star. The only person that honestly believes in me now, is myself. And that's fine with me, I'm not bitching or whining, that's just how it is. It's not a sob story. If people doubt you so what. But if you don't believe in yourself, then you might as well be dead. Who cares what everybody else says. Although it does suck when your out and you run into somebody from the past and they ask what you do. It's hard to say you're a writer when you've got jack squat to show for it. And even if you do tell them you're a writer they always have that patronizing look; like this guy's full of shit. Anyway, this is a very little concern. Although, when I ran into my Ex-Girlfriend she found it humorous, but to hell with her. I know I'm making it sound like I'm the worst writer in the land, but I'm not. Actually, I think I'm a damn good writer. Not the best, but good. I just need the chance, like all the rest of you struggling geniuses. I'm not bitching and moaning or pleading with the higher powers. It takes time and I know this. And to be completely honset, I haven't been doing this for very long (sending my stuff out that is). In terms of climbing my way up the ladder, I'm not really that deep in the compost pile, as I'm sure others are. And part of that was, that for the longest I was afraid to let other people read my stuff. It was more a crippling fear. Now I am more receptive to criticism and willing to let people take a look. But only recently. I'm sure there are others that have it a lot worse. Anyway, I do believe I am close. For my movies I went to scriptblaster.com. Yeah, it cost some dough and I was skeptical but they're legit (or so they seemed) and I have this producer guy helping me. Trust me, I'm not preaching thier praises just yet, but they connected me with someone. I think it's all gonna work out for me. I'm not just saying that, because I feel that my stuff is good but because I HAVE to believe my stuff is good. I don't just believe it, I know it. And I'm not an arrogant guy. Enough about my stellar writing ability, jk. I'll keep my fingers crossed, because I've invested a lot of time and money with this producer and if he screws me over I'm gonna be pissed but not surprised. If he does, I'll keep trucking, as long as I am allowed. Me and my Gal are back together and I don't know why, but she's fed up with my pipe dreams. She has about as much faith in me as she does in a week old pile of dog shit. It doesn't matter, I tell her to live her own life. Anyway, point being you have to beleive in yourself. Nobody ever achieved anything giving up. And hell, if the product I'm trying to sell is crap and nobody bites, at least I can say I tried and I'll go back to watching and reading the crap that's better than mine.