Today my wife and I decided to go to the mall just to walk and look at things, because we hadn't done that in a very long time. I showered, shaved in the shower, got out, brushed my hair while the mist was still wafting around, got out of the bathroom, put on clothes, and was ready to go.

My wife went into her bathroom, showered quickly so no steam would touch the mirrors, did her hair, put on her make up, checked her hair again, put on her clothes, looking at herself with each garment she put on, changed once into something different, checked her hair and make up again, came out of the bathroom so she could check her look in the full length mirror in her hallway (our bathrooms are on different sides of the house), and then we could finally leave. As soon as she was in the car, she pulled down the visor so she could check her lipstick once again, and of course tease her hair a couple more times.

I was talking to one of my friends earlier in the day on the phone and I said one of the biggest differences between men and women is how we perceive mirrors. Men really don't like to look in mirrors because we don't like what we see; that's almost the same with women, but that's where the differences begin.

Women like to torture themselves with the mirror. Good looking ones keep looking because they believe they can look even better. Cute women look because they keep wondering what they have to do to move up to the next level. The rest keep looking in the mirror and get upset because, to them, they can never reach the level of the other women, but they're going to keep trying and hating themselves and every other woman they see in their minds while looking in the mirror.

Mirrors. I hate mirrors. I've learned how NOT to look into a mirror and see myself. After all these years, I'm pretty good at it. If I have to look at my teeth, I actually only see my teeth. I shave in the shower so I don't have to look at myself. I brush my hair without looking in the mirror; I touch it to see if it feels right. I put my clothes on, and that's that.

My wife has tried to make it difficult for me in my own home. There are four large mirrors on the walls in my living room. Along her hallway, there are three large mirrors, and six smaller, rectangle mirrors. She says all the mirrors add depth to the place; like we need more depth. There is a big circular mirror in the master bedroom. There are mirrors in every other room in the house, including the kitchen,... only my office doesn't have a mirror in it. And she looks in every single one of them.

Now, let me just say this. She's not the only one who's like this. I've known many women who are exactly the same. My girlfriend before her used to spend 2 hours in the bathroom, checking and rechecking herself, before we used to go anywhere. The one before her wasn't quite as bad, but she had her ways, especially when it came to her hair. My very first girlfriend was different; she only looked to put on her makeup, and that was that.

I've only known one guy in my life who's ever been this way. We used to call him Disco Dave in college. He'd try in 5 or 6 different outfits, and he always had to use the mirrors in the hall because it was the only full length mirror on the floor. He'd primp and pull and tease and squeeze for hours at a time, just to look perfect, yet, as soon as he walked off the floor, we all knew perfection was gone.

Mirrors; hate them!