Will you please shut up?!?

I've had an opportunity this last week while the kids are playing at grandma's house to catch up on my reading. One of the books I picked up was by Chuck Palahniuk, the writer of Fight Club. In one of his books, Lullaby, Palahniuk examines the phenomenon in modern culture where people cannot live without noise.

It's an interesting thought. How much are we comforted by noise? Do you ever turn the tv on, just so there is someone to talk to you? Do you spend obsessive amounts of time on the phone because you need something to occupy the space in your head? Or maybe it's even as insidious as running an air conditioner at night so you can sleep. For that matter, our culture is so far gone that when you eliminate the noise around you, you don't even think about unplugging the refrigerator or killing the ceiling fan. Those noises have become so accepted within our brains that we don't even hear them.

This week, I have had the luxury of going mostly without noise. No, I didn't unplug my refrigerator either. But I did turn off the ceiling fan quite a bit,and even the air conditioner. And I sat. Sometimes I read, sometimes I just thought about different things.

I once asked a question of a group of friends. Could you survive on a desert island, as long as there was plenty of food and water, for the rest of your life without human contact. The response I got was a very truthful no. I didn't ask whether it would be an enjoyable situation, but fortunately, that's not how they read it either. One person I knew answered with a very brutally honest, "I'm an actor, of course not."

I once wondered aloud to my husband why I didn't date more in high school and college. He told me it wasn't for my looks. He said that I was stunning. But I was "intimidating". Huh?? He explained further that I was an introvert. I was puzzled. If there is anybody at a party who is likely to get up on a table totally sober and dance the jitterbug simply because it amuses me, it would be me. My husband laughed, and agreed, but then said that had nothing to do with it. He said that I seemed to be "inside my head" a lot. I knew what he meant. Even though I would be likely to do that at a party, I would probably be thinking about fifty other things the whole time.

I realized he was right. I actually pity people who talk to others in elevators, because it seems like they are so desperate for any communication that they will violate everything their mother taught them growing up. And even as I recognize that is most likely inaccurate, sometimes I wonder if it may be more correct than I think.

Please don't misunderstand. I love my kids, and I wouldn't trade my time with them for anything, even if it means that I do not get the peace and quiet I crave. But there is something to be said for enjoying your own company so much that you can be content for an entire week by yourself without talking to the cat or dishwasher, or being talked to by the television set.