Wig Wisdom from The Wig!

Never keep a lightbulb in your back pocket.

Always wear shoes when you are going outside.

Do not ask what the wig can do for you but what you can do for the wig.

Never trust a man with a unibrow.

Never keep ducks in your drinking well.

If there are rats in your toilet stop shitting on your own doorstep.

A chicken halved is a chicken dead.

Remember remember to wash your member.

You are what you shit.

Too many cooks spoil the waistline.

A beer a day keeps the doctor away.

Be merry and peel a cherry.

From the wig!