Why are we using the bathroom at Big Lots?
Let's go over the possible reasons.
1. You're having a colonoscopy in the morning, and your bowel-cleansing stuff kicked in faster than the doctor said it would.
2. You're one of those ladies on TV who are always finding the need to go while at brunch, out dancing with the husband, and antiquing. In which case, I doubt you shop at Big Lots, so let's just cross this one off.
3. Someone hit you with an elastic-vaporizing ray gun, and you want to get somewhere private before your panties fall down.
4. You're just the average retarded Big Lots shopper.
Now let's go over the reasons why, when you find yourself in need of a toilet in Big Lots, you find it more convenient to ask an unassuming woman (who is clearly not an employee but who is rather minding her owndamnbusiness pondering squash seeds because they're only 20 cents a pack) where the bathroom is, even though, again, she is clearly not an employee and a giant sign reading RESTROOMS is hanging right in front of your ass.
1. You're retarded. That's the only possible reason.
At any rate, you ask, loudly:
They ga baff-rawm in hyar?
We're not going to get into why the unassuming woman at the seed display is in Big Lots in the first place. Let's just leave it at seeds for 20 cents a pack and mind our own business.
Originally posted on my blog Cheeky Kitten
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Hahahaha!
I hope you pointed in the wrong direction.
Word Witch You Wouldn't Happen To Know CheekyKitten By Chance?
Thought so....
Big Lots and Tiki torches~
I have the epitome reason as to why I miss the Big Lots here where I live~ it closed down recently, and that was the only place that, on a regular basis, I could buy new wicks for my tiki torches any time of year, so even on a cold almost-wintery night, I could go into my back yard, light my torches, mourn the loss of summer while in my swing, and smirk with glee while people drove by and wondered if I was sacraficing goats.
Last year before the snow hit, we had a semi warm night here in the midwest, and my torch wicks were too short to hit the oil.....but I had NO where at 1am to buy wicks~ therefore, I became a wench on a mission.
So out of pure desperation, I came in the house, grabbed up my newly purchased cotton mop, and began cutting the cotton threads with a fury from hell, all while I was thoroughly laughed at by the worse half. I braided them together, stuck those suckers down into the tiki oil, and voila.
I proved my point, had my lights, and have now just exposed to the world one of THEE most white trash moments I have ever had. I hope to hell you enjoyed it.