ASK ZANNAH

Hi Zannah,

I have been in a relationship for two years now. In the beginning he was very romantic and attentive and now it feels like he just knows I will always be there. I am 28 and my boyfriend is 32. I’m ready to get married and have children and make a life with someone that knows how to commit. I have my education and career in place and I want to do those things that best use my the energy of my youth. Is it too early to expect that from him? I’m starting to get disillusioned and grouchy.

Sarah from Leucadia

Dear Sarah,

The curious thing about physical law is that it reveals our physical need as well as the timeline in which the need can and must be met. What you are feeling is the physical demands of being physical living in a physical dimension. This can be better spelled out by saying, “It’s not too soon but almost too late�. Let me explain. Generally speaking, women are all about THE RELATIONSHIP. I think just about every psychological guru in the world would agree to that. In my own observations of human nature, I have found that (in accordance with physical science) that women tend to NEED to take the relationship to the next level at 18 months. After the 18 month mark passes, an interesting de- evolution or in some cases re-direction of the relationship takes place; neither of which being what the woman really requires in terms of optimum circumstance for rising to her full potential. Ultimately what begins to happen is SHE begins to lose respect for her potential mate. If the days that follow the 18 month mark grow into years, she will eventually harbor such great resentment for him that the marriage even if entered into late, will likely fail or at minimum possess irreversible strained undertones.

My advice to you is to sit him down and simply be honest. Let him know that in order for you to be the best you can be, you require a marital commitment. The beauty in this, is that he gets to be the best he can be too. Two heads are better than one. We hold our visions of grandeur for one another during tough times and revel in the miracles of life together. There is nothing better than a union. Both of you will grow exponentially as a result. Tell him you cannot bear the thought of losing respect for him and that before you become discontented and someone you are not, you would rather leave the relationship in good standing. This is not an ultimatum but simply a reality. Having said this, “You must be prepared for him to let you go.�

The good news is, “If he doesn’t, HE’S THE ONE� simply because he heard your heart and understood it to be true. Love and Truth always prevail but it must come from both sides.

Thoughtfully, Zannah

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