When Is a Crush More Than JUST a Crush?
I have a new crush.
Wasn't it just last week that I wrote a blog about being attracted to geeks? Well this guy is about the furthest thing from a geek as possible...
He's a deckhand on one of the fishing vessels owned by the company that we both work for. We've known each other (casually) for about 2 years. But on Fri./Sat. when I saw him at work... I really noticed him for the first time.
There are only about 6-7 guys on the deck crew for this particular vessel and they're a pretty tight group. I'm friends with one guy in particular (not my crush). He's very funny and open, so we talk everytime he comes by the office and he brings me pics of the crew and even postcards from the places that he's been (since he knows I collect them).
I was always a bit intimidated by "Alex", my new crush... though I'm not sure why. He has a more serious-looking face than the others... he looks like he could start a fight with the biggest guy in the room and win ;-)...
Anyway, this last weekend, he just seemed different... the look on his face was softer and he joked around more with me. Then he came back once (without the rest of the guys) to bring some paperwork that wasn't really super-important... and when I told him so, he said "That's okay, then I wouldn't have had an excuse to come see you" and smiled shyly!
Since I work with mostly men, I'm used to these kinds of comments and usually just brush them off... especially if I have NO interest in the guy making the comments. But with him, I was so caught off guard, and when he noticed, he actually blushed and looked away!
I saw him again the next day when some of the girls from the office and I went to have lunch aboard the boat this guy just happens to work on. But since he was with his buddies and I was with other girls... we didn't say anything. I just noticed that he looked at me for a long time as we stood around chatting with the guys for a minute... and then we had to leave.
What makes me think this is different? I'm not sure... I just know that I haven't been able to stop thinking about him.
So... when is a crush more than just a crush? I guess it's when the other person actually feels the same... right? And there's no way for me to know that until they come back from this next trip... which will be in a couple of weeks... they'll only have about a week off and then it'll be back out to sea, this time for several months.
And if he does feel the same do I really want to get involved with someone who is gone most of the year? I don't know...
Of course, maybe it's nothing... maybe these feelings will fade, maybe I'll find out he has a girlfriend, maybe I just had something on my face that day... ;-)
I've always enjoyed having crushes on guys... there's something nice about that feeling of newness... the potential of getting to know somebody and having them know you. It doesn't matter if you're an 8th grader, college student, 20-something or 40-something! I think crushes are always exciting...
If I write a blog about how much I hate men in a couple of weeks, you'll know what happened ;-)
So for now, I'll just wait and see.... and in the meantime, I'll keep doodling his name on my notepad, sneaking glances at his picture (a picture of the entire deck crew that my friend sent me) and of course, letting my mind wander to thoughts of him...
Aren't crushes great?
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this sounds dangerous ...
... especially the "blushing" part. They have email on the boats these days, don't they? You could always find an excuse to email the guy. And if he shoots back something, well ... Remember, he might be sweating the same things you are.
You lose nothing by following up. And there are lots of couplings and marriages that do very well despite long separations. That was the norm for marriages through much of the Industrial Revolution.
Good luck!
dangerous?
Thanx for the advice OC ;-)
Technically, they do have email on the boat, but only if they happen to carry on their own laptop... there's no computer with access for everybody, as far as I know. And I have no idea how "technically-inclined" this guy is... ;-)
So it's back to "wait and see"...
American Idol Madness / MySpace or Yours
and another thing...
don't you agree it's best for the "guy" to make the first move?
even if i did have his email, i don't know that i would email him first... but maybe that's just me...
American Idol Madness / MySpace or Yours
this day and age ...
... I would recommend the Alphonse and Gaston act to neither gender. I don't have time for tucker's "natural predator" post, but I will say this: a lot of guys are really nervous about making the first move these days. Too many bad things can happen - or at least that's the message they get from the news. Any encouragement you can give, however indirect, however subtle, will be very much appreciated. This is old news too ... watch some 1930s cartoons sometime, when the lady would drop a handkerchief for a gentleman who had caught her eye to pick up and return, thus initiating the desired conversation.
i guess i can understand that...
but still there isn't much i can do until i see him again...
:)
American Idol Madness / MySpace or Yours
--
I regret not making the first move with my current boyfriend. Sure we ended up together but it took soooooo long!
I began to notice him, didn't make a move, thought he wasn't interested, tried to date someone else-that relationship really was bad- for two months, realized i still have feelings for my first crush, had a bad breakup-turns out my crush had feelings for me all that time!
Bah!So much time wasted.
wasted time...
i definitely know about wasted time :( i'm just not sure how good i would be at making the first move... what does that mean? asking him out? more direct flirting? indirectly asking his friends about him???
crushes ARE fun... but they're also nerve-wracking... ;-)
American Idol Madness / MySpace or Yours
Crushes are fun
I think everybody loves to have crushes. They are always fun because nothing goes wrong. When you have a crush on someone it's the same as when you first start dating - everything is perfect. Nobody is leaving wet towels on the bathroom floor, the toilet seat is always left in the down position so nobody is falling in, etc.
Anyways,let him make the first move. You don't want to look desperate. It's all part of the game. BUT, if you do decide to make the first move, be sure to have a good cover up, just incase. Like for example, if you say, "Do you want to go out to dinner Saturday?",
Then he says, "No."
Make sure you respond with something good like, "I was just kidding anyway. Can't you take a joke?"
Gotta have a cover up.
OR, if all else fails, you can become a stalker. I don't think stalking is right...unless I'm the one doing it. Just don't be a psycho stalker. It's ok to research information on him and sit outside his home for endless hours, as long as he isn't aware you're doing it.
I totally don;t encourage stalking, but use it as a last resourt...lol.
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stalking
lol... well i certainly don't plan on stalking this guy... although since i work in the office -- i do have the means to get "some" information on him... ;-)
i'd really prefer for this to develop naturally, if it's going to happen at all..u know?
but i will definitely work on my "cover-up" technique... just in case :/
thanks rc :)
American Idol Madness / MySpace or Yours
make the first move. women
make the first move. women are supposed to be progressive in the 2006. if you want something you got to go for it no matter what it is. He will like it as long as you don't seem needy. Actually girls ought be good at this because they know how they would prefer a guy to pursue them.
You don't want another pretty girl to catch his eye while you were waiting for him to make a move.
progressive women
hmm, i've never been the "make the first move" type... BUT I do believe in going after what you want... the truth is I've been giving this some thought and I think that given the limited amount of time i'm going to have... i'll need to do "something" once he gets back...
i was kind of thinking of casually bringing him up in conversation when i speak to my friend (and his fellow co-worker) when they get back... but i'm not sure how guys view that... can they tell you're fishing (no pun intended) for information? for example, i'd like to find out if he's really single... i've liked guys before and been sure that they liked me too, only to find out that they already have a girlfriend... i'm not interested in anything like that...
American Idol Madness / MySpace or Yours
first thing. make sure that
first thing. make sure that these guys don't like you too. because if they do and if they are haters they might try to cock block.
haha good point!
it's funny you should say that because this guy that i'm talking about -- i was totally convinced he liked me when we first met... and then i found out he had a live-in girlfriend (now his wife) and a newborn baby!
but now that i know that, we're just good friends... and i'm pretty sure he would be honest with me if i asked him about this other guy (my new crush)...
American Idol Madness / MySpace or Yours
Bueno Suerte!
Well, it looks you're Good to Go then.
Bueno Suerte!