What should we do with the intelligent child?
This blog will come across as a lot of bragging to some. Too bad. I'm allowed.
My son is intelligent. This was not exactly unexpected given that my IQ is high enough to qualify for Mensa, and my husband's IQ is even higher. And while I'm thrilled about it, I'm not sure how to help him.
Growing up, I was lucky enough to have an amazing teacher who was in charge of the gifted and talented program. She has received many national awards for teaching. I just looked her name up, and I was not surprised to find that she has her own foundation and that she is on the Board of Regents for a College. My husband had many great teachers as well.
The problem with my son is that we live in a small town. The school begins offering G&T (gifted and talented) classes to kids in the first grade. My son needs them now. He has made patterns in blocks that were so complicated that the G&T teacher did not immediateyl recognize there was a pattern. He can solve math problems that I did not tackle until probably 3rd grade, even with my own G&T classes. He uses big words with ease, and even gets pretty close to the correct spelling.
But there are no concessions made. His teacher is a former 1st grade teacher, and she has been advancing him within the class, but I feel this is not right. See, being extra intelligent is just as much "special education" as a child who has learning disabilities. It is not something that occurs within the normal range, and must be addressed to help the child. They would certainly not tell a child with a low IQ that he or she must wait until first grade to receive help, but they have no problem telling that to my child on the other end of the spectrum.
Some people would say that we should move. It may very well come to that. That's fine to say, but there should be appropriate learning for all. I should not HAVE to move to find help for my son. Will I? Sure, I'd go anywhere to get my son the education he deserves. But that has nothing to do with whether I should HAVE to do so or not.
So, for now we wait. We see what is offered next year. So far, my hope is dwindling due to their draconian rules. In the meantime, perhaps I will get in touch with my old teacher. She needs to hear a great big "THANK YOU MRS. WRIGHT!"
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Since we're bragging about IQ here... I guess I'll start there to lay a foundation.
My IQ is sufficiently high that if you took only the upper echelon of MENSA members (99th percentile) and took a normal distribution of them out of 10,000 you would find one with an IQ as high as mine... based on the lowest score I have ever generated on a formal IQ test.
Thus, perhaps, I am well qualified to speak on the topic of genius level IQ and its interaction with the education system.
First and foremost... the education system, especially at the primary level, is not to educate as you think of it, but to teach discipline, social skills, and perhaps lay a foundation for future education.
Definitely discipline and social skills are the most important and are the first things lost when a child is segregated by either being pushed into (in California we call it GATE for Gifted And Talented Education) special education or even being told that he/she is special/advanced/intelligent/whatever compared to peers.
But, wait, my gifted child will be bored in a normal class!
Bzzzt! Your gifted child especially needs to learn the discipline to pound away at problems and to do the mundane things that everyone else does.
But, but, my child already understood this after the first problem! Why should he do 50 more?
Because he will eventually come across a challenge that will not be so easy to solve and if he has never learned to struggle through he will fail.
But, but, my child is so much more intelligent than these other children, he should be given special treatment!
Bzzzt! If your child believes he is special and will get special treatment he will expect it for life. It will come as quite a shock when he is introduced to the real world only to discover that no one really cares that his IQ is 200 unless he's doing something with it. But, the worst part will be the fact that he isn't doing anything with it because he has no discipline to just sit down and work through the hard problems.
I certainly welcome your
I certainly welcome your comments, because though my IQ may be high, I do not fool myself that it is one of the highest. I am intelligent. I am NOT a genius. But I suspect my son may be, and I am happy to have your input.
I do not necessarily disagree with most of your points. But the premise is perhaps the sticking point.
I do not think that primary education is ONLY to teach discipline. I think an important component of it is also to teach the basic skills, so that further education can occur. You are absolutely correct that discipline and socialization are necessary parts, but so is the learning. More and more children are finding themselves in daycare these days, and they often have the discipline and socialization down fairly well. But they do not necessarily know all the fundamental basics of education.
I absolutely do not want special treatment for my child. In a way, all I am asking for is that he be treated the same as anyone else who needs extra help. His will just come in a different form. With EVERYTHING else, I agree with you. He will be bored and that is tough. As an adult, he wouldn't get to get out of grocery shopping or paying taxes simply because he is bored or considered special.
What I do want for him is the same thing that every parent wants for their child- the best. I think that the difference between intelligence and genius is the creativity with which it is applied. If you have all the knowledge in the world, but cannot apply it, how does it benefit you? We experienced a great deal of creativity in my G&T classes, but we also had an enormous amount of discipline in these classes. So much so that some kids chose to rejoin their normal class. Your mileage may vary. The lessons and hard work were never sacrificed in favor of having fun, but the learning itself became fun. THAT is exactly what I want for my child. A short time- once a week, once a day, whatever- when he can stretch his brain and practice some creative learning. It is absolutely not about working harder math problems or reading more difficult books.
We have not told my son he is gifted. He will figure that out for himself soon enough. His teacher has not told him that he is doing advanced work. She does it in a way where it seems as though everyone is doing it.
Thanks for a great post!
I agree with everything you've said but one thing really struck me. These children ARE special needs children and it's too bad that so many of our school districts don't recognize that.
Mine is now 15 but when he was in 4th grade they stuck him in a split class of 3rd and 4th graders! Guess what his principal told me when I complained--"He's such a good student that we thought he'd give Ms. Allard a break." Huh??
All I can say is "Good for you!" for sticking up for your son.
And there's the difficult
And there's the difficult part. If my son were mentally disabled, I would not need to feel embarrassed about asking for help, because he is on the other end of the spectrum, I often feel that I am being looked at as a braggart. Yeah, I'm proud of him, but he needs some special help too. He's got G&T teachers who can't identify the patterns he creates, so how much help will they truly be to him if he's already topped their own skills in that area? He's got teachers that have convinced him to go into a certain profession when he grows up because he is good at engineering type problems (on a much smaller level of course). But that's not what he wanted to be when he started Kindergarten and I worry that he does it simply to please. Am I truly worried about him getting stuck in that particular field if he doesn't want to be? No. He has plenty of time to decide. But the way he's getting sucked in is what bothers me.
And I really do agree with Maverick. My kid needs discipline. All kids need discipline, but perhaps mine more so. He has a gift, and if he doesn't learn how to apply it in a practical way, it will be for nothing. So obviously, there are a lot of conflicted feelings about this.
Most of all, forget the bragging. If I reduce it down to nothing more than being proud of my son for his intelligence, I am reducing him to one tiny aspect of himself, just as much as he already has been by the examples given above. The main push to find a solution for me is because I've got another one, right behind him, who will go through the same issues. I already expect the same conversation with my daughter's teacher once she gets in school.
I guess my feelings could best be summed up in an example. I started in public school and then I was homeschooled. I went back to public school in 11th grade, and they didn't know what to do with me. They had never had a homeschooler before. I jumped through all sorts of ridiculous hoops that truth be told, they could not force me to do. But I did it because I was the one that was going to define how they treated every homeschooler from then on. I've since seen their policy, and it is very fair, and much easier than it was for me. I like to think I am partially responsible for their generous attitude. Someday, there will be another child that is the same as my son, and if they don't figure out what to do with my son, they will not have it figured out by then either.
My nephew
My nephew is "gifted" too. He was put into a program at a young age. I think he was in 3rd grade or something when he entered. His parents pushed him too far too quick and he started doing poorly.
I definately agree that schools do not provide "challenging" work for students. There was a similar blog about this yeasterday. I commented that teachers are too concerned with graduating kids. Teachers don't seem to care if the work they are providing is appropriate to a particualr childs IQ level.
I felt so bored in school. By my senior year I was credits behind becuase I often skipped so I could work. I would have rather made money than be a senior reading 7th grade books.
I wish in some ways that I was place into a program that at least allowed me to use my mind in postivie ways.
So I guess I think you definately should find a program that works for your kid. Just watch closely and make sure that he is benefiting from them. Who knows, it may be great for a few years then you may drop it. Or maybe it will be benefical long term. It is worth the try.
I agree w/Mav on this. Never tell a child he is "gifted", meaning he's smarter than the other kids. He will expect different treatment. Encourage him in the same way you would encourage a child of normal intelligence.
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Thanks so much for the
Thanks so much for the response.
That blog was what inspired this. This school year is almost over. Even if I fought this battle, it would not be for my child.
I agree completely with your last statement and with what Maverick wrote. The way I encourage my children is the same as I would encourage any other child. Work and learn to the best of your abilities, and constantly challenge yourself to see whether that is really the BEST of your abilities, or whether you are just coasting. If my son brought home a C, and I worked with him and found that C was REALLY the best he could manage, I would be proud of him. The problem I suspect I will find in later years is that he brings home an A+, and that A+ was not his best effort. And then, even if he is gifted, it would have not been used. What kind of "gift" is that??