Welcome Home

Welcome Home...

My parents... My brother... My family...
Are all FUCKING crazy.
After spending a 2 week vacation in Tennessee, without me, my family comes home to tell me how selfish, stupid, and worthless I am.
And here I am, cryin' my fuckin' eyes out, at 6:30 in the freakin' morning, because of it.
For what? A fuckin' television.
When I moved back to Tennessee three years ago, I left behind alot of shit, because I couldn't move it all. Including a desk, and a television. My brother took them. Fine.
I've been back for a lil over six months, and when they left for their family vacation (minus one member of the family, mind you), I took my shit back.
My NINETEEN year old brother started crying like a fuckin' baby, and literally, throwing a hissy fit because he couldn't just come in and chill. I didn't set his tv back up. Godforbid they boy actually do some manual labor. This cable to this cable, and put it on channel 3. DuH.

What happens? He throw s the television on the floor, cracking the tube, deaming it now, BROKEN.
Please, for the love of God, somebody explain to me how the tv being broken is my fault? And how a simple task of plugging it in elevated to me being completely torn into pieces by my entire family?

It sucks, to feel alone.
It sucks big fuckin' cajones to be in this fucking situation, day to day.
the last 10 days were the most peaceful ones I've had in this fuckin' city in a loooong time.

Just wait till they realize all the liqour that's gone.
How much of a fuck up will I be then?
I welcomed them back with hugs, and kisses. I stayed up all night, waiting to see my family. And what do they greet me with?
"Idiota," from my father.
"I wish you were dead," from my brother.
"Just go to sleep and leave us be." from my moms.
"You should go find retarded people, and kick them. Go find blind people, and slap them, asking them why can't they see." from dad again.

Why me? I jus feel like leaving, saying fuck the world, fuck it all.
But where am I gonna go? How am I gonna get there? Who's gonna console me?
Nobody. That's who I have.
aaaaaaaaaaah @..(*&((*&..(@*..&(@*&..(@*skhfkdskfnsd,mc n slkdsoiudoisdjlksdfsdlk

ahem.....

I dunno. I don't want tobe so fuckin' depressed-like all the time. I used to laugh alot and make people laugh, and be honestly happy.
I wanna be happy again.
one day i will.. ::breathes deeply::

i just need guidance to find it. the irony of it all, is that the guidance I need the most is from a source that has never steered me correctly.

Lets trade parental units, yeah?