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After the whole 'Cartoon Wars' incident, South Park has firmly established themselves (if they hadn't already) as the preeminent cartoon to voice serious issues in humorous yet disturbing (and occasionally disgusting) fashion. Expecting big things for the episode following 'Cartoon Wars' was obviously too much to ask. Perhaps Stone and Parker are burnt out, making such poignant and funny cartoons in such a short period of time. Perhaps they were manifesting their anger at Comedy Centrals censorship of their past material. Whatever the reason, the most recent episode (s10e05) '1,000,000 Little Fibres' was a complete joke and waste of time.

The episode is a satire of James Frey's controversial memoirs 1,000,000 Little Pieces and the subsequent fervor after its untruth was revealed. It begins with Towelie working as a waiter at a Japanese restaurant. He's so stoned that he continually mixes sauce even as his patrons are berating him to take their order. His boss fires him, and he walks out into the rain, worrying about the rent (why he pays rent I don't know. He's a TOWEL, remember??) and other bills and realizing he needs a job ASAP. Sparking up a joint, he has an epiphany. He's going to write his memoirs and make tons of money!! With renewed enthusiasm he sets to work, pounding out an entire novel, 1,000,000 Little Fibres, in just 3 weeks!! He takes it to a publishing house, where he's told by the Editor that people simply won't care about a towel's life. He tells Towelie that since he's a towel, people will not be able to relate to him. After finding out his memoirs are useless, Towelie decides to smoke another joint, because, after all, the weed makes him smarter and gives him ideas. He comes up with another epiphany, and changes all references in his memoirs to towels to people. He throws on a hat, a fake moustache, poses as human under the name Steven McTowelie, and pitches the book again. This time the editor is enraptured by the memoirs, a harrowing tale of being hung on hooks and left out to dry by all he's cared about (he's a TOWEL, remember??) The editor tells him how poignant his story is, how its such an inspiration. Oprah then gets her hands on his book, and brings him on the show, raving about his writing and how inspiring his ability to overcome adversity is. It is at about this time that the show takes a ridiculous turn, as while Oprah is talking to Towelie we see the camera pan down to her groin area. Her vagina, who calls himself (he has a voice, you see, with what sounds like a rough British accent no less) 'Minge', starts ranting on about how she hasn't paid attention to him in so long because she always working so damned much. Gary, Oprah's rectum, pipes in with his Scottish lilt, telling 'Mingey' that she needs to devote some time to her good 'ol Gary as well. You think this is going to be the end of it, as it's somewhat amusing and certainly long enough of a conversation to get the point across. But guess what? Mingey and Gary take over the episode!!! From here on out, whenever Oprah is shown on screen, Mingey and Gary are the ones doing the talking. Mingey discovers that Towelie isn't a person but a towel, and schemes with Gary to reveal this information and thus discredit Oprah, hopefully sidelining her career and leaving her open for some much needed Minge and Gary time. In what may be the silliest thing I've ever seen, Minge calls the newspaper (the phone is tucked between Oprah's legs as she sleeps) and does the talking, while Gary does the listening. There is miscommunication and arguing between the two orifices, but the point is made. Towelie isn't a person after all, he's a towel. His memoirs are a lie. The next day the truth is revealed and Oprah is stunned, upset and worried how this may affect her career. She calls Towelie and asks him to come on the show again to explain why he lied, to give the audience a personal perspective. She tells him that his book has helped so many people that it doesn't matter to her that he fudged some of the facts, and would like to stand up for him on her show. It's about this time that you begin to wonder where the kids are in this episode. Well, keep wondering, because they get absolutely NO screen time. Towelie is a fun character, but as we painfully find out, one that CANNOT carry an entire episode, even with the UK orifice squad on his side. But I digress.

Towelie comes on to Oprah's show once again, and Mingey and Gary are extremely excited as they can see Oprah's career is wavering, and the audience has lost faith in her. Gary, in a solemn moment, reveals to Mingey that he's always wanted to see Paris and that now he may finally get his chance. Mingey assures Gary that things are working out in their favour, and that soon she'll be doing nothing BUT playing with her 'ol Minge and Gary. Suddenly, Oprah turns on Towelie, berating and deriding him for lying and attacking his character. Mingey is horrified, as he sees that the crowd is rallying behind Oprah, and he knows that if she sustains her audience, he and Gary will remain neglected. So Mingey flips out....he pulls out a gun (rather disturbingly, you see a disembodied gun poking out from Oprah's zipper. It's really odd to watch) and threatens to kill Oprah if she doesn't take some time off. He makes his way to the front of the building, where he takes some members of the studio audience hostage after locking the entrance. The police show up and begin negotiations, but after one of them get too close, Mingey shoots and kills him. Towelie, meanwhile, is amongst the hostages. He realizes that he can slide under the door (he's a TOWEL, remember??) and does so, letting the hostages back into the studio and away from the deranged Mingey. After the hostages are secured, the police order the snipers to take Mingey out. A shot is fired, but misses Mingey. He begins mocking them, assailing their competence and aiming ability, and tells Gary how stupid they are. Gary, however, is in no shape to respond. The shot missed Mingey, but hit Gary. Gary is fatally wounded, and Mingey, in an extremely touching and ridiculous moment, begins to describe Paris to Gary. The smells of the croissants, the beautiful women, the snobbishness. Gary is sated by this, and thanks Mingey for letting him see Paris before he dies. Mingey, overcome by grief and frustration, takes his own life shortly thereafter, as Oprah screams in horror.

That's about it. I left some things out I'm sure, but I honestly only watched it once and didn't pay much attention after Mingey and Gary started dominating the screen. It was a bad episode, one that rivals 'Pip' and 'Terrence and Phillip: Not Without My Anus.' These episodes all have one glaring omission: the MAIN CHARACTERS of the show!!! One thing I DID like about the episode is all the people yelling at Towelie, telling how his book changed their lives, made them stop drinking, doing drugs, and live a better life. But now they're ANGRY with him, because he lied. They are basically saying that self improvement means nothing if the source of inspiration turns out to be false, which is crap. Once you've improved yourself, stay to the course, regardless of WHY you made the changes. What I didn't like about the episode: the rest of it. I can see how Stone and Parker would've thought it was funny when they came up with the idea of Oprah's organs being neglected, but they didn't need to take it this far. It was a lazy, inspired, and totally shoddy effort, but they do that every so often. I expect the next episode will be back up to caliber. My advice: if you're a big South Park fan, give this one a miss.

Sir Smittius