News Flash (Almost) In the Pan

Is there anyone out there who doesn’t know that full time Scientology freak and part-time heartthrob, Tom Cruise and his lovely bride to be, Katie Holmes, have just had a seven pound baby girl? What does the average man and woman in the street think, however, about the name choice for this little girl who has such public and adoring parents? (Perhaps they couldn’t care less!)

Suri, my friends, has different meanings. According to a Cruise spokesperson, it means “princess� in Hebrew and in Persian means “red rose.� Well, someone didn’t get it right, at least not if I take the credentials of a linguist professor at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem seriously. Gideon Goldenberg, who is the man behind this formidable moniker, states that in Hebrew, “Suri� means, “get out of here!� (Not get the hell out of here, or pass go and collect 200 dollars, but go away, just the same.)

Actually, I would prefer for Tom and Katie to go away, at least for a little while. She is quite lovely, but Mr. Cruise is beginning to annoy me between his Scientology ranting, couch jumping episode and Brooke Shields bashing. He is a cutie, and in this great country of ours he is free to believe whatever he wants. He should, however, leave my throat alone, as I don’t want him shoving anything down it that I didn’t put there myself.

Tom and Katie are a beautiful Hollywood couple, and I am sure their child is beautiful too. I think their name for their child should be their business, but whatever were they thinking?