The New Millennium Devil's Dictionary - Wine

WINE, n. One of the original preservatives; used to pickle water, until its utility in pickling people was fully recognized. The reason why British and Commonwealth complainers whinge.

Protestants separated from Catholics over, among other things, whether a priest could literally turn the eucharist wine into blood. Once Protestants decided that priests could not do this, the substitution of other fluids for wine became permissible, even inevitable. Kool-Aid, for instance. The Protestant decision is fallacious. The ability of priests to turn spirits into blood has been an established fact for millenia.

   - O Ceallaigh

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