The New Millennium Devil's Dictionary - Evidence / Research

EVIDENCE, n. Facts, theories and conjectures that are germane to an argument. Cited if it supports my case, ridiculed if it does not, and ignored if my voice is louder, my wallet is fatter, my punch is stronger, or my bullets are bigger. SCIENTIFIC EVIDENCE: evidence generated by a scientist from a laboratory or a computer, for sale to the highest bidder.

RESEARCH, n. Work, paid for by customer, benefactor, or taxpayer, to find something a second (or third, or fourth etc.) time. Findings of research are used or discarded depending on whether or not they prove what the sponsor of the research wanted to prove. See EVIDENCE. MEDICAL RESEARCH: Dedicated to the idea that we will one day live forever - so that we can spend all eternity in a blind panic over the cost of health care.

  - O Ceallaigh

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All opinions are mine as a private citizen.