o ceallaigh's picture

The New Millennium Devil's Dictionary - Hormone

Barry Bonds | hormone | humor | New Millennium Devil's Dictionary | romance | satire | Sports | Steroids

HORMONE, n. Miracle of modern science that is, by ingestion or injection, the source of all present-day individual athletic records. As if the naturally-occurring molecules didn’t already cause trouble enough.

    All hail hormones! Lead me astray,
    Write me a romance and waft me away.
    Dip in the bottle and conjure a member
    Fell beyond hope – or did the pretender
    Peddle the product with profit in view,
    Blithely omitting the odorous stew
    That one who indulges can find himself in,
    Thinking by magic to augment his sin,
    Only to find that the total amounts
    To side-effect treatments on doctors’ accounts –
    And meanwhile the one who has spawned these desires
    Has run off with the dustman. All this inspires
    A cold-shower dousing of dreams of this sort,
    And to the pill pushers a short sharp retort.
      - Baritone Bondi

  - O Ceallaigh

Copyright © 2006 Felloffatruck Publications. All wrongs deplored.

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There is more??

That was a fun read. Beth Ann sounds like a nice girl.

Save a horse, ride a cowboy!!!

o ceallaigh's picture

re: there is more??

Yes there is. Shame on you. :) Though I suppose the ability to perceive "more" in the cowboy might be inversely proportional to the number of cowboys ridden :) :).

Beth has written that she manages to see the value in a less-than-Casanova. That's a good recommendation - assuming, of course, that it's not a scripted trolling from your friendly neighborhood narco agent, or whatever else this pseudonymous mob might be under their handles.

Thanks for the comments!

missmaster's picture

Ok ok O Ceallaigh!

Got the point. Of course there is more to a man than a hump as you so eloquently put it! I did mention in that blog that sex is important but not THE most important aspect of a relationship. plplplplp :P ;)

o ceallaigh's picture

re: ok ok

:). I do, and did, think you get it, I'm trying to make noise on behalf of those who maybe don't. I'm certainly not advocating a return to the Victorian practice of sex while fully clothed - "lie back and think of England", and all that. For either gender. On the other hand, we have soldiers returning from Iraq with shrapnel, or worse, in the groin. If you didn't invest in the whole package, what then?

missmaster's picture

I love your blogs O!

I really enjoy reading your blogs and comments although I seem to get the impression that a few don't, no names mentioned. Obvious from their own posts. Just out of curiosity, where did you get the name from? It looks gaelic. Is it pronounced like O'Kelly?

o ceallaigh's picture

re O: Thanks Mum

:).

As for the "few don't", an anonymous member of the Jesus Seminar, writing in The Complete Gospels, wrote "those exempt from criticism have risked nothing and so have gained nothing." Like (as drlolipop has rather aggressively said), AdSense hits. :).

O Ceallaigh is in fact an Irish Gaelic surname, one of several that has been rendered into English as O'Kelly. O Ceallaigh and O'Kelly are pronounced similarly, so far as I can tell (I don't speak Irish). For more than you wanted to know about this, go to http://malonedirectory.tripod.com/history_kelly.htm.

missmaster's picture

I studied a little Scottish Gaelic..

..when I was at school and the name looks as if it is from some kind of Gaelic. Interesting choice!

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