The New Millennium Devil's Dictionary - Balance

BALANCE, n. Archaic (no digital readout, no computer interface) weighing instrument consisting of a beam placed midships on a fulcrum. The beam can be detached and used to beat up on those who dare to disagree with the owner of the device.

One day blind Justice stumbled into court,
To hoist her scales and from them make report
Of the facts that up til then had come to her estate;
Jack Satan, Counsel for the State,
Nervously beheld the weight
Of evidence that Justice held aloft;
He approached the bench with worried gait
and told the judge, “It is my thought
That unless I am allowed to redress the balance,
I must accuse this court of malice
Towards my client". Then with a whisper,
The judge told Jack how he might prosper.
Silently, State Counsel took a sash
And balls of cotton, and in a flash
Added “deaf and dumb" to Justice’s “blind"!
Then swiftly, before anyone could mind,
Shuffled the data from pan A to B,
Then cried out “Now any one can see
How even-handedness proves my client right!"
The judge and clerk applied their might,
“The case is closed" announced by gavel;
The gallery could only gape and marvel
At the wisdom and wit of State’s Attorney –
While Justice, who had had trouble with her journey
With only sight deprived, wondered what would happen
With more of her senses gone, and no companion.

- Murrow McLehrer

  - O Ceallaigh

Copyright © 2006 Felloffatruck Publications. All wrongs deplored.