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The New Millennium Devil's Dictionary - Academia

Submitted by o ceallaigh on January 28, 2006 - 9:32pm. academia | football | humor | New Millennium Devil's Dictionary | Ph.D. | satire | university

ACADEMIC.

1. (n.) Person who teaches at an academy, where football is taught.

2. (adj.) The significance of what is taught at an academy, if it is not football.

3. (n.) Intellectually disabled person who spends great amounts of time and energy debating whether the pen is or is not mightier than the sword, failing to recognize that both are equally powerless when set against the onslaught of money. See Ph.D.*

    The one who has the gold, makes the rules. - The Realist’s Golden Rule

Ph.D., abbr. [Philosophiae Doctor = Doctor of Philosophy] Certification that the awardee, who is not usually involved with anyone named Sophia, is incapable of holding down a real job. Much sought after.

    A boring old coot from Cold Harbor
    Sat gloating that he was a Doctor.
    His friends got a rope,
    Scrubbed his mouth out with soap!
    He regretted their Gamble and Proctor.
      - Goldbrick of Galway
    There’s no money in philosophy. – Adam Morrison

  - O Ceallaigh

Copyright © 2006 Felloffatruck Publications, featuring The New Millennium Devil's Dictionary. All wrongs deplored.

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Clever

Submitted by shellsand on January 28, 2006 - 10:27pm.

I enjoyed reading the post.

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I guess you owed me...

Submitted by I was framed on January 29, 2006 - 8:47am.

With my series of recent attacks on the science community, I guess as a teacher I should have known I would see it come back.

Actually, this was incredibly amusing, and seemingly a little more targeted at the university arena. I feel the early tremors, though. I will eventually post about education and you will come for me. I can feel it and I am waiting!!

HA HA HA HA

All in good fun

Later

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re: owed me

Submitted by o ceallaigh on January 29, 2006 - 2:16pm.

Maybe if I had signed the work:

  - O Ceallaigh, Ph.D. (which is true) ...

Sounds like we'd better be careful 'bout wrasslin', 'cause we'uns be in the same boat:

    Oh they built the ship Ac'demic,
    To sail the ocean black.
    They said it was a ship
    That never would come back,
    So they christened it with beer
    And it sank right off the pier
    It was sad when the great ship went down.
      - Unattributed

:)

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