VEGETARIAN, n. A person who never forgave the hunter for shooting Bambi’s Dad. One who dismisses the notion that cats eat mice to prevent the mice from overrunning the planet. One who has visited a meat-packing plant.

Many vegetarians believe that vegetarianism promotes the development of a benign, benevolent personality, and cite famous figures from history in support. “Mahatma" Moandas Gandhi was a vegetarian. So was Adolf Hitler. The prophet John the Baptizer was said to have subsisted on locusts and wild honey. The honey did not noticeably flavor his vocabulary, or sweeten his temper. Perhaps that was the effect of having to catch and crunch all those locusts.

- O Ceallaigh

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