Okay, so I've decided that being a mom means only having half of everything (and more often than not, even just a quarter of said things). At the end of each day when my kids are asleep I look back at the preceding 12 or so hours and think to myself how I just can't seem to get anything done in its entirety.

All day, every day, I only get the time to empty half of my bladder (or bowels for that matter.....and once you are a mom, "TMI" goes out the window my friends....) before it becomes deathly silent or terribly raucous and I KNOW my three year old is cooking up some trouble.

I only get to take half a shower more often than I care to remember....you know, you are in the shower because your kids just happen to both be napping at the same time by some grace of the Divinities only to hear the baby wake up screaming so you have to jump out dripping wet with shampoo in your eyes. My meals are always left half eaten because God forbid I can get through an entire sandwich or cup of coffee before I am being hailed with desperation to fix a train track or change a diaper fit for the HAZMAT team. I usually only get half dressed when off to run an errand with the brood in tow.....I can't be bothered to change completely when I have to make sure I have enough diapers for the baby and snacks for the toddler to make it through a marathon grocery trip (during which time I end up getting only half of what I need because my son is screaming that he dropped the green gummy bear and is completely inconsolable), so I end up wearing either real bottoms and my pj top or the other way around.

Oftentimes I end up only getting through half a blog post or email before I have to go play supermom and save the day by rescuing my son from the impending doom of a pin prick sized spider that happened to make its way into his room, or take half a nap as I am starting to doze off, eyes grainy & heavy only to hear "maaaamaaaaa, i'm awaaaaake!" 45 minutes too soon. I speak to my husband in half sentences and don't even bother answering the phone since those conversations would end after about three words......kids always seem to find it appropriate to perform death defying acts of extreme sport-ism when a mother is on the horn.

Nothing I start to do EVER gets done any more! And I am that totally neurotic, Type A, anal retentive kind of chick that needs everything to be done on time and perfectly. I'm a list maker for sure,and at the end of the day I get all knotted up if my "to do's" aren't "too done". But such is motherhood.....maybe I should take up yoga or meditation to help me deal with this so I can just let go and be okay with my half life.......yeah right. Somehow, I don't think you can do half a session of yoga or meditation and have it really work.......maybe half a valium? With a half a martini? Hmmmmm.