I drive a Subaru. 1995 Legacy Brighton wagon. The cheapest model. Power nothing. Crank your own windows. Maybe if Microsoft Windows was powered by a crank, like the windows in my car, it would work better. When it comes to cars, my philosophy is: the more power gadgets, the more things to go wrong. Like the radio, which only plays the left half of stereo. I don't even bother with the tape player. Who wants to listen to just the left half of Talking Heads? Give me the essentials. Traction - trust me, the all wheel drive comes in real handy during a Maine snowstorm. Steering. Brakes. Heat, window defrosting, and air conditioning. Reclining bucket seats.

Yep. Reclining bucket seats. An absolute essential. You ever try to sleep in the driver's seat of a car that doesn't recline? Not recommended. Even when the car is stationary. And yes, I've tried it.

Y'see, this isn't the first time I've driven across the country in this car. Actually, it's about the fourth. Round trip, that is. And each time, it's been loaded up with the research gear I need to attend to the tasks I need to take on once I get there. Plus enough personal stuff to get me through at least six weeks worth of life in somebody else's place, be it an apartment on the grounds of a research laboratory, or a tent in the wilderness, or a room in a house with geriatric cats. There's not a lot of space left over for the driver, especially when he insists on a fully reclining bucket seat.

And I do insist. Because, as far as I'm concerned, motel rooms are for wimps.

Let's face it. Unless you're making a whole lot more money than I am, you don't want to be paying some twat with a vacuous baritone and a guitar any kind of dinero to leave the light on for you when you don't have to. You're already shelling out for gas (praise the Lord for 28 mpg on the highway) and food, not to mention the car itself. Dammit, the car's got a roof. Why do you need to pay for another one?

I mean, OK, the hotel room's got a bed. So does the car, if you've got one with a reclining bucket seat and have packed it so you can recline it. It only took me one trip for me to learn that you do not try to take so much stuff that you can't recline the seat. Things like this usually take me longer to learn. That's how important it is.

The hotel room's got running water. So do the rest areas that are thoughtfully dotted along our nation's interstate highway system. Sometimes the water's even hot. And you can get your teeth brushed, and your hair washed, and your armpits refreshed with a sponge and a little circumspection.

Have you noticed how big the cabs of semis have gotten lately? You think these guys and gals pay for hotel rooms? Hell, those cabs have beds, fully-equipped kitchens and Jacuzzis in there. Pull into a freeway rest stop at midnight practically anywhere in these United States, and you'll see dozens of trucks, parked, their engines idling (probably to power the a/c and the surround-sound music systems), their drivers asleep. Yes, my car has a reclining bucket seat, not luxury bunk beds. But still, if they can do it, so can I. So there.

Mind you, if this were January, and I were stupid enough to try this drive-across-the-country thing during blizzard season (yes I did, once; don't ask), you'd best believe I'd be looking for those motel lights at the end of the day. My parsimony doesn't extend to the prospect of freezing to death. Though I suppose a good sleeping bag on the reclined bucket seat would do the trick if I really had to. But I don't have to. This is August. And it's on a fine day in August that I'm packing the microscopes, and computers, and notebooks, and musical instruments, and kitchen gear, and houseplants (don't ask about this either), and five day's worth of clothes (I shipped the rest). Carefully leaving enough space for the reclining bucket seat, not to mention the sight path for the rearview mirror.

And at long last, as evening descends on my farewell views of San Francisco Bay, Hotel Subaru, fully loaded, accelerates out onto I-80, headed for the Sierra Nevada.

   - O Ceallaigh

Copyright © 2006 Felloffatruck Publications. All wrongs deplored.

All opinions are mine as a private citizen.

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This series 4jh. Who told me this should be blog fodder ...