So, I’ve reported recently that things are going swimmingly and they really are. I’m a bit disheartened that we’re not in a shiny new apartment yet and that money became low before the shiny new job. But, things are still good. I’m getting the kid enrolled in kindergarten, in with a group called The Regional Center to help with her Autism and enjoying trips to the park and library. And, despite the occasional nuisance created by ‘CSI’ insisting on filming (apparently!) every one of their episodes on my block this season, it’s still kinda cool!

But, there are a couple issues ~ none that will shock anyone ~ but, quite frankly, I need to publicly bitch about them!

The first involves housing. Everyone knows that Los Angeles isn’t cheap. And, if you’re looking in Hollywood, West Hollywood - aw hell, if you’re looking in any neighborhood that people on the East Coast have heard of, you’ll be out of luck unless you can afford $2,000.00 a month for a decent 1 bedroom apartment! But, I currently live in Westlake; an area unknown to anyone but the folks at ‘Crime Scene Investigation’ and maybe the people traveling through to Koreatown. Now, this isn’t Watts (at least, I don’t think so - I haven’t been to Watts) and I have yet to witness a crime, hear about a crime or see the fashionable yellow police tape that heralds a murder scene. But, this is an immigrant neighborhood, there is trash kind of everywhere, bums, crazies, and Jesus on every corner! The building that we inhabit houses a lovely mix of crazies, stoners, one rocker dude and a tiny sprinkling of folks who could be college students. There are also small families with kids and a few older folks who’ve lived here at least a couple years. So, we’re talking low income people! Oh, and did I mention the tiny rodents I discovered the other day? Or, the cockroaches? Ya, the mice I’m assuming are coming inside as it gets hot outside and I’ve only seen evidence once. But, see one and you know his 500 brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles are around somewhere!

So, you can imagine my shock when I called about an apartment across the street. I got an answering machine that featured the cheery voice of Kimmie. Kimmie promised that either she or an associate would return my call right away. Um, in LA “right away” means two days later. So, as the still cheery Kimmie offers to show me the place, I explain that I’m at work but would like to know more about the apartments for rent. This is the point that I come to realize that cheery = crazy. They are offering 1 bedroom apartments for *Ahem* $1,000.00 a month! Excuse me??? ‘CSI’ is moving their offices to my street and you want to charge $1,000.00 a month????? Were do you think you are??? Studio City???? Or, do you believe this neighborhood has been cleaned up to the point that it’s no longer a ghetto??

{pssst} It still is!

Looking on craigslist (so far the only real classifieds as the Times and free artsy papers all suck for rental ads!) I see all sorts of scandalous-ness. People in skeevy neighborhoods offering sublets for amounts 3x’s what they’re worth. Landlords offering leases for more than my kidneys are worth! And, why? Because it’s Hollywood. Hey, it may not be the neighborhood, but let’s be real - every part of Los Angeles is Hollywood. And, the dream is for sale and it’s price is sky high! You know, even though there’s a ton of things I cannot find right here and it’s almost impossible for me to ask anyone on the street for directions or anything due to the language barrier, I do kinda dig it here. I love the giant park nearby and I like how close we are to the metro and bus lines. I’m irritated to no end that our library isn’t well stocked, forcing me to order every bloody book I’d like to read, (the 2nd book in the ‘Left Behind’ series is waiting as I type! I can’t believe I’ve been so sucked into that series!) but I like the people there! Even the woman with the large smile and glassy eyes that reminds me of a Stepford wife. Sure, she may have handled my request for Stephen King’s ‘Cell’ and then stared, bewildered, when it arrived in RUSSIAN, but how can you hate someone so bloody nice and helpful??? So, if anywhere in LA I’d think of finding a cheap, yet good sized apartment it would be here. But, so far I only see signs for singles and then that $1,000.00 one bedroom! Suddenly, I don’t like people named Kimmie! Hhhmm, well, it’s doubtful I ever did, but that’s not the point. My point? Where are the “cheap” apartments???? Seriously! If anyone out there has an LA apartment on my side of the tracks - 1 or 2 bedrooms for under $900.00 a month - give me a PM! (And DON’T ask for my picture!)

Next is the job thing. Now, I whined because it took so long to find something, but live and learn. I probably would have been working a week after we arrived if I’d first gone to the temp agency. And, though I’m now employed and will hopefully go permanent, I’m still looking for catering gigs on the side. The one side job I *think* I’ve landed is a very new business and they pretty much have no jobs yet. But, working for more than one catering company is the nature of the beast. So, I keep looking. Beyond the places who won’t talk to you if you don’t have a car (what the fuck??? This is the city!!!!) the other really disturbing trend is to want head shots. Ya know, I’ve worked in catering for more years than I’d prefer and not until landing in LA have I EVER been asked to send in a photo before a job interview! Hell, I’ve even seen that request when looking through the CSR jobs! This may be Hollywood, but we’re not all fucking actors! Some of us are writers! But, all jokes aside, this is just crap! And, just this evening, when I thought I was going to confirm an interview for tomorrow, in my inbox is this note:

“Can you make it for 1:10? Oh and can you send me a recent photo?”

Well, that was a wrap! I felt like just deleting it and moving on, but then realized that would only look badly on me. It’d look like I agreed to meet and then didn’t show up. So, instead, I replied with a “no thank you” and explained how disturbed I am by this trend. I mean really, who the hell do these guys think they are??? Producers??? Not only do the clients (and I know this as FACT) not even look at their servers, they will actually care if hot soup is spilled in their lap - even if the server is blonde & hot! This really does piss me off and insults me to no end! I may be pretty enough to get the job, but at this price, no thanks! I’ll keep my self respect, thanks! But, on the other hand, my age may outweigh my looks anyway.

Who knows if I’ll hear back from the guy. I kinda hope I don’t since I can only imagine his reply making madder and being more insulting! I keep thinking he’ll try telling me he wanted a photo to know who I am when I arrived for the interview. But, maybe he’ll just roll his eyes when he reads my reply and move on, too. I’m not giving up, but I’ll be damned if I even try for a job where my looks are more important than my experience!

I’m going to stop in at the library today to see if there’s anything new on Craigslist. I haven’t rented that super cheap apartment downtown simply because I’m *trying* to find something bigger. I just may end up there anyway, though. But, beyond the smallness of the place, the only other thing I don’t like is the safety measures they have in place. Whenever someone would come see me at my place, they’d need to leave their ID at the desk. I get why they’re doing it ~ just one glance across the street and you’d know! And, the lobby is closed after 7pm, meaning that anyone who popped by to see me would have to “be announced” and I’d have to come down and escort them up (after they’ve left their ID, of course!). Again, I get it ~ they’re trying to keep the potential danger from across the street out of the building. But, for me, that makes me feel like a low-rent hooker. I may be looking into the future here, but, I don’t like the idea that A: Any friends can’t just stop by and knock on my front door in the evening. That there’s a whole “thing” involved in popping over just to say hi. B: What if I find a guy I actually want to date??? He’ll need to leave his ID at the desk every time he comes over and then pick it up in the morning?????? It’s not *just* that it rings of a sleezy hook-up with a hooker in an hourly motel, but there’s also the potential for identity theft. So, I need to think long and hard about it. I don’t like giving anyone access to personal information like that, so I’d not blame anyone if they refused to hand it over. And, while I *do* prefer my home to be like my own, personal fortress of solitude where next to no one comes knocking ~ I’m thinking of people like PW (when she finally moves here) or Modelmom (when they finally move here). They are on the short list of folks who are welcome to just show up and knock. And, knowing them like I do, I doubt they’d be ok with handing over their driver’s license’s! Sure, the same rule applies here at the hotel if a visitor arrives after 7:30 pm, but I’m seriously not planning on having guests while here. And, I suppose the cheapness of the apartment may out-weigh that inconvenience. Maybe if I talk to management, they’ll loosen that rule for people who come over a lot.

So, there you have it. Too many Los Angeles employers believe they have a right to hire based on looks and age and renting an affordable apartment means living like a hooker. Geez! But, who knows, maybe there will be some cool and interesting stories to come of it. Even as I type I’m thinking I may as well give the downtown apartment a try for now. I haven’t been able to shake that urge to bitch-slap whenever a guy hits on me, anyway. So, I guess it’d be awhile before I have over-night guests. And, my work hours haven’t exactly made it easy to be social and make friends. And, there’s plenty to do downtown and the apartment is close to the metro line. Just taking a stroll in either direction from the building I’ve seen ads for cool art openings and the like, so maybe once we’re settled and I can hire a babysitter every now & then I can begin to live like a grown, single woman and hit the new and burgeoning scene that’s making downtown *the* place to hang out!

Ya, so I guess you can just call me Ms. Jones and be prepared to leave your ID at the door! But, just don’t ask for my picture!