internet lovers

Today was a beautiful sunny and warm day here in S.W France. We drove to the next village for a little shopping. We drove up the valley and up through the woods where a sign warns you that "The hunting of Mushrooms is forbidden". The sunlight was dappled through the trees which still have not lost all their leaves. It looked so beautiful shining on the gold, reds and browns of the leaves like precious stones. The fields were all shades from beige through to dark chocolate brown where they have been ploughed ready for winter.

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Dear ____________.

As taken aback as I was by your magnanimous review of my picture, I’m somewhat perturbed by your adolescent infatuation with the media’s Darling de jour, and I wonder if you realize just how puerile you come across when comparing me with an airbrushed image of a doubtlessly surgically-altered woman whose pinups provide orgasmic fodder for many a young boy who can’t differentiate product from reality. Also, if you read something more substantial than People magazine or Entertainment Weekly, you’d know that it was Helen of Troy’s face that launched those thousand ships. (She was one of the seminal Hollywood starlets along with Cleopatra, Delilah et al.) Nonetheless, I’m so glad you approve of tanned women even only if they remind you of your “greatest love� at age 10, which may explain a few things concerning your attitudes towards women, and maybe your obsession with the Angelinas of the world. And in reply to your final question, yes I’m positive that I’m not one of those Hollywood “stars;� for one thing, I never had the fat from my ass transferred to my lips nor have I ever felt the need to retrofit my breasts with saline sacs in order to titillate my fans. Since I’m replying to your questions, I have one for you: Is your _______moniker an inventive amalgam of Corto (the Italian word for “short�) and Cock (the colloquial equivalent of “penis�)? I’m sure it’s just imaginative whimsy on my part – fueled in part by your over-compensatory obsequiousness – but I just had to ask. Have a splendiferous day _______!

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