Fear

BRENTWOOD, N.Y. - A Long Island animal shelter is a temporary home for a 1-foot-long snake that a mother found coiled on her 7-month-old daughter's leg as the baby slept in a crib.

Cari Abatemarco of upstate Troy says she was visiting family in Brentwood last week when her baby's cries woke her one night. She tells Newsday that she found a snake wrapped around her daughter's leg.

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ARE YOU AFRAID OF DEATH?
Generally, people seem to be so much lost in the worldly affairs that they hardly ever bring to mind that one day they will have to depart from this earth too. May be, the struggle for survival, or accumulation of material comforts to add to their life style give them an illusion that the dream of life is going to last forever.

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So when I got off work yesterday, I went to my friends house to stay because I am house and cat sitting for her this week.
I sat down at her computer to do some blogging...lalala, when out of the corner of my eye I see something loooong and grey come running in my direction with a cat rapidly following it!

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I’ve been thinking about this for a minute. In my life ~ since the age of 15 ~ I’ve had a total of three stalkers. Yep, three. Even before there was such a word for it. It’d make you think I’d be more sensitive to the subject, huh? (ie: ‘Stalking Edgar’)

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As I write this, there's the aftermath of an explosion here in NYC around 41st and Broadway, which is a few blocks from the hotel I'm presently staying at. It seems to only be a big steam explosion, though there are some injuries, but it's not the act of a terrorist, thank goodness.

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Many people see my constant, happy smile and make instant assumptions about me and my past. However, my childhood was a pretty traumatic one. In the bad old days, as I call them, I would pass a mirror, momentarily liked what I saw but then suddenly, and inexplicably, would start telling myself that I was 'crap', that I 'hated' myself and I was 'pathetic'. I had buried my trauma deep inside me, refusing to face them and, slowly, it took its toll in a continuous lack of self-love and low self-esteem. Gradually, and painfully, I learned that I had to sort out my past, face it and move on, and then begin the slow process of self-love. The wonderful result is clear to see now.

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Yesterday, as I was desperately landscaping to make enough money for my rent (I’ve heard my landlord attacks tenants who don’t pay with rabid dogs), I came across a huge pile of rocks. These rocks were piled just so, that they were filled with nooks and crannies perfect for all kinds of vile things. I counted one snake (fortunately not a poisonous one) about three mice, and nine-hundred ninety nine billion, nine-hundred ninety nine million, nine hundred ninety nine thousand, nine hundred ninety nine spiders. There were white spiders, fat black spiders, skinny spiders, muscular spiders, fanged spiders...sickly spiders, healthy spiders, half-eaten spiders, hairy spiders and smooth spiders. There were spiders from every corner of the globe packed into this rock pile, and I had to do battle with each and every one of them.

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According to a recent survey in the UK, more than 55% of people are unfaithful to their partners. The rise of the mobile phone, Internet dating sites/chat rooms and greater work freedom for both men and women, ensure that it is far easier to have an affair, or start a new relationship with someone, without current partners knowing about it. It is also very easy to get indignant when our partner strays, to condemn them in vitriolic terms and accuse them of being 'bastards' 'whores' or 'terrible cheats'. But sometimes getting self-righteously angry, without acknowledging our part in the process, simply delays the inevitable: the final break-down of the relationship.

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Teenagers in today's society have, to a great degree, the best and the worst of all worlds.

First, they are born into a society that couldn't be more revolutionary and innovative. They have all these gadgets at their disposal that their parents dreamt of and their grandparents couldn't even imagine. They have an incredible amount of information to aid their development. They also have opportunities galore to express themselves, to extend their reach, to discover their potential and to enhance their life quality. They would not be able to imagine what my world was like, 50 years ago, having to read by candles, having no phones at all, having nothing electrical and hardly any buses (we had to walk everywhere!). The mobile, the microwave, the video and Internet appear to represent an alien world I would not have believed capable of existing in my early childhood. So our youngsters couldn't be more fortunate.

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Technology has dictated the current pace and perspective of our lives with a dominant and unavoidable impact. When I look back to just 30 years ago to see the difference in lifestyle, knowledge and behaviour over those years, it is somewhat alarming to comprehend. When I had my son in 1971, the amenities seemed positively primitive compared to those of having a child now, which are much more inclusive too, being designed to involve the whole family with the birthing process, instead of just the mother. The changes in the home, particularly in furnishings and lifestyle, are just remarkable to an older person like me and would have been phenomenal to my grandmother who had so little no fast foods, no television, no freezer, no washing machine, no dishwasher, no phone, no electric light or oven, no microwave all items considered essential to maintain our current standard of living.

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The main rules for success from dating to marriage are: DON'T CHANGE THE RULES!

It is amazing what transformation in a couple the two little words 'MY husband' and 'MY wife' can bring. There they were, getting on fantastically during the dating process, and suddenly they are married and everything changes, then the marriage itself is blamed for what happens next. But what really changes people are three things:

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Can you accept the moments of anger and fear as guests, be willing to receive them with kindness without feeling obliged to serve them a five-course meal?
-Christina Feldman in 'Compassion: Listening to the Cries of the World'

From "Positive Energy," by Judith Orloff, M.D.:

Certain people give off positive energy, others negative. It's the quality of someone's being, a measure of love with which they've led their lives. It also reflects the inner work they've done, their efforts to heal anger, hatred, or self-loathing, which poison us like toxic fumes. Energetically these linger, precluding joy from shining through. It's important to grasp, however, that once you undertake the process of healing, it changes the quality of even the negativity that remains. Don't be too hard on yourself-we're all works in progress.

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[b]One of the best ways to overcome fear is to learn about it, get knowledge about the thing that we fear. That will help in reducing the fear because once we have good knowledge about a particular thing, we become comfortable doing it and the fear begins to fade away.

Many people are afraid of public speaking because it involves a lot of skills like preparing a good speech, delivery of the speech, how to address the audience, body language, tone of voice etc. Since many people have not mastered these skills, public speaking involves a lot of uncertainties to them and they are afraid of walking up to the stage as they fear that they may make complete fools of themselves. One way to overcome this fear is to study in detail the various skills involved one by one, such as they should study about the basics of body language, how to maintain a confident and correct posture, they should study and master effective speech preparation and delivery. Once they master the various skills involved in public speaking, they will feel a lot more comfortable and eventually they fear is likely to vanish into the thin air. This is because they have step by step mastered and become comfortable with various small skills that are needed for giving a good speech or presentation on stage. They have divided the task of public speaking into smaller pieces, then studied and mastered each piece until they became perfect in it or atleast became a lot comfortable in it.

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If we start believing on this thing, then no power in this world except destiny can stop us from reaching our goals and moreover destiny also supports people who fight with diversities without fear. Fear is the biggest back puller in world. Many talented people are not able to rise above in their life only due to this fear. Fear even eats our dreams and makes only small things. The other disadvantage with fear is that it starts eating us from inside i.e. making our health worse. Due to fear many people restore to constant thinking and finally generates hypertension and in the end diseases like diabetics and cardiac disorders. Why fear and from whom fear? Except destiny no one can change our fate. No person in world how much he may be strong can not hurt us, unless we give him chance to hurt us. For fighting our fears, we need positive approach towards life and hard work for achieving goals because people have very fears in their life.

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It is not an easy task to define our life and especially our fears. Fears are important part of our life. There would be hardly any person in this world that does not have any fear. Recently I discovered new thing attached with fear that there are few reasons which contributes in the building of fear. If we can control these fear factors then we can substantially decrease our fears. First major factor is love for things or for people. We accept things in our life and slowly we start loving them. Now more we love the thing, more we have the fear to losing these things. Moreover the things which we get with lot of difficulty generate more fear of losing them as compared to other things. After some times our love changes into obsession and we start believing these things as our internal part. In this phase, a single dream of losing a small part of it looks like losing our own self. This fear could be similar to the fear of death (a fear which threatens us in some darkness, in some unknown ness). Around the world we all are fighting with these kinds of fears. To small extent fears are fine because they show us our limit or small power over existence. However many times these fears become so threatening that many people lose their life due to them. If they are not life threatening but still they are bad as they decrease the quality of our life. Therefore it becomes very important to diagnose these fears and come out of them. Below are few points which could help people in fighting their fears.

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