devil

You would think the devil would get tired of the job he has now. At first, he had it made in heaven. He had a cush job right up there with God in second position next to his throne. Then one day he got to looking at himself and reasoned that why does God have to have the top head hauncho position? Why I deserve the place myself. So, he got together with some angels and said listen we need to take over here and run this place like it should be done. So, he declared (according to Isiaiah 14) For thou hast said in thine heart, I will ascend into heaven, I will exalt my throne above the stars of God: I will sit also upon the mount of the congregation, in the sides of the north:

read more

I received a package in the mail today that was addressed to my newborn son. It was from the Devil. How do I know it was from the devil? Aside from the return address…

666 Brimstone Lane
The Abyss

It was actually signed…

‘The Devil’

Ok, that was a fib. It wasn’t actually signed ‘The Devil’. It was signed ‘Grandma’ – But let’s not split hairs…

read more

DEVIL, n. You, if you cross me. See FRIEND.

FRIEND, n. ENEMY, one letter removed from his true state.

ENEMY, n. DEVIL - to the generals and the general public. FRIEND – of politicians who need to keep the world safe for their country’s arms manufacturers.

read more

SATAN, n. In ancient Hebrew mythology, the title ("the Satan", or "the Accuser") of a subordinate immortal charged with bringing human misbehavior to the attention of the celestial court, and executing the decreed penalties; in short, YHWH's Attorney General.

Later, the Israelites having been presented with the concept of an underworld (they didn't have one before and didn't see the need, but the neighbors insisted), the Satan was detailed there – presumably entering into some sort of amicable relationship with Hades, the incumbent.

read more