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Oh how true that statement is and due to a fortuitous bout of insomnia that had me channel surfing in the early-morning hours, I can now rebuff anyone that uses that line as a selling point. Of course, the fellow that writes reviews for slasherpool.com might be the only human in the history of humans to state the titular quote.

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The following events take place between August of 1993 and April of 1994. Had these events unfolded in a slightly different manner, it's possible that few people outside the world of cycling enthusiasts might know the name Lance Armstrong. Conversely, more people outside of my living room might know mine.

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I woke up this morning thinking of Wilford Brimley which is hardly the image I prefer to have lodged in my groggy noggin' so early in the day (or even late in the day, for that matter). While this confession could lead one to believe that I am a deeply troubled individual, there are far better examples from my psyche from which to draw that conclusion.

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My friend Miguel is a wonderful fellow. Men want to be him. Women want to be with him. For the past several years, he has resided in the cubicle next to me in the office where we ply our trade, hoisting that barge and lifting that bale.

In the interest of full disclosure, Miguel's name is actually Mike, but in the spirit of livin' la vida loca and because he has far too much personality to be merely a Mike, we rechristened him Miguel. As we did not break a bottle of bubbly across his bow, I am uncertain as to how legally binding this new moniker might be, but he answers to it.

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