I admire you for what you are doing - I do believe more Mums should spend more time with their children. It is a quandary for careeroritented mothers in particular - they've worked so hard and without continuous service/experience, they get left out a bit when they return. It is a hard choice for mothers, but those that choose to stay at home should not be critisized.

Show me the child of five and I'll show you the adult. What in pluperfect hell is more important than setting that child up during those formative years for the rest of that child's life? How many studies do we need to demonstrate that an unstable home life at those ages puts that person at major risk of falling into asocial / antisocial behaviors later? I am very uncomfortable with double-income households with small children and no "extended family" network in place (as in, say, Nigeria, where both parents typically work and the grandparents raise the children). And you may call me any flavor of pig you like for thinking so. In the American "nuclear family" model, the SAHP [NB] is the MVP on the team.

Being a stay at home mom is the most important job in the world. It's the hardest job I've ever had to do, and boy do I feel like I should be fired half the time. I do understand that some women MUST work, though, or that some women are just not good at being stay at home moms (sometimes I wonder if I'm one of them...) I mean, would you rather a woman stay home who hated it and simply wasn't a very good role model because of it? Nah. Because if she'd rather work outside the home and the hours she DOES spend with her children are good quality hours, then all the better.

I do feel saddened that becoming a stay at home parent is out of the norm and that staying at home is often looked down upon.

I love your metaphor about the Mercedes!

I work outside the home for a few hours two days a week to make ends meet. My son is cared for by my parents in my absence. The rest of the time I work from home as a writer when he is sleeping (or being babysat on occasion by the TV, I'll admit it).

The days I go to work are the easy days. While moms who return to work have their own challenges, I think the rigors of staying a home, day in and day out, are really difficult.

My husband and I were married 9 years before we had a child because we felt it was super important to raise him or her ourselves vs. taking the child to daycare. We have friends and relatives that have made other choices because they have different beliefs. It's hard not to criticize their decisions, but since I haven't walked in their shoes, I really shouldn't judge.

I'm very fortunate to avoid loneliness (I'm a very social person) in my stay-at-home life by: going to the free library storytimes, where I met other moms with whom I socialize. I would really be miserable without them; by spending time with my parents, who live nearby. I chose to stay in this area (making sacrifices in potential earnings) because I value their company and their presence in my life; and by using the Internet.

Thanks again for this thought-provoking post. I expected something different when I read the title!

Should toddlers say butt and crap? Weigh in on the subject here.

Brenna
Blog at Writing UP!
Brenna Fender's Blog

and we need to place the raising of our children as a priority. And to raise the profile of this maligned role.

I cannot blame working mums.

From The Wig

You know I stongly believe that everything in life happens for a reason. I thought when I first got pregnant with our third child that she was an oops. I was a career woman, moving up in the career of corporate sales and loving every minute of it. I drove a nice, old but gorgeous and refinished TransAm! I made decent money and enjoyed my time at work. I droped my two boys off at daycare every morning. I was very picky with my daycares, though. You are right they are the number one influence in your childs life. I always looked long and hard at who I left my children with. It often amazed me at the kind of care people left their children in when I would have to start the hunt for a daycare again. But when Jamie came along she changed all of that. It's like God sent her to me to wake me up to what my reponsiblity was as a mother. I quit work more out of a financial decision then the desire to be at home. I had always planned to be the career woman, not a stay at home mom. Nothing wrong with stay at home moms, I always admired them, just didn't think I was SAHM material. It was hard at first but I quickly saw that my middle boy's attitude started to improve. I had better control of him. The oldest was happier and the baby now has grown up with out that feeling of abandonment that her brother always felt every morning.

It sure wasn't easy to go from two incomes and two children to one income with three children. I barely pay the mortgage and the bill collectors are calling, but my children are so much happier and better behaved. It's just so hard with the cost of living these days to do that. We have created a society that almost requires you to have fewer children and two incomes. I don't know that there is a way to turn back the hands of time, but if we don't each generation is only going to get worse. As it is a great percentage are in the juvinel system, they have no respect for adults, and over all are in trouble.

I could go on an on about this. This was a great post.