Something Other Than Everthing Else

I Find what is I am told I must do. But just walk by the answer as if it truly has no meaning. No substance. No true depth of what makes sense. I am repelled to the old.
Unable to consume the new. Parallel mind. Parallel lives. Contemplating time in a parallel unvierse. Happenstance. Serendipity. Running low. Feeling High. Caught in a day break with a single translucent thought that fallows my incomplete knowledge.
I don't see a path in front of me. Not even a pebble to guide my way. The pioneer to no where! I am looking at the ground in every angle that is possible and I still can't see the dirt road. Should I put the magnify glass back into my pocket? I wait for guidance- no one is there. I listen closely- silence fills the room. I dive into dreams- nothing seeks me. I try to hold the castle together as I feel it crumble. I watch the lessons painfully pass me by. I hold my breath. I hold my tears. I hold my heart in anticipation of something other than everything else. And just when I think I have some sort of grasp the castle falls to the ground. And once again I begin to rebuild my fairy tale that is so delicatley made out of beach sand. PEACE.