Cinemaphiles, armchair herpetologists, aviation aficionados - mark your calenders for August 18. Why? August 18 is the release date for what is already being touted by many as the worst movie of 2006...

Snakes On A Plane

Based on the synopsis, this movie promises to live up to its title as it is described as the wacky hijinks that ensue when 500 snakes are released in the cabin of a plane midflight from Hawaii to Los Angeles. It's actually being marketed as a drama/thriller, so perhaps I'm being gratuitous throwing around the phrase "wacky hikinks." Instead, maybe we can have a tense discussion among the characters (and the screenwriters - it took three to write this flick) as to how the snakes got on the plane since there are, apparently, none in Hawaii.

The director is someone named David R. Ellis and, according to his bio, it's the first time he has helmed a project as director. His past credits are primarily stunt work and minor acting bits like his work in "Blind Fury" as Ski Lodge Killer #3 and "Nightbeast" as Laser Victim. Hey, if you can play a laser victim, why the hell wouldn't you be qualified to direct a movie called "Snakes On A Plane."

"Snakes On A Plane" - it's a lot of fun to say. Try it. Just stand up, right now, and shriek "snakes on a plane" imbuing your delivery with as much concern and fear as you can muster. Consider it practice should you be offered a role in the sequel.

Now, by this point I really shouldn't have to sell you on this film, but I want to make sure that you're hooked. Would it help if I told you it features performances from master thespians like Byron Lawson and Flex Alexander? No? How about a Jedi Knight? Yeah, you heard me. The top star of "Snakes On A Plane" is...

Samuel L. Jackson.

How? Why? What dirt do they have on him? Well, rumor is that Jackson signed on as soon as he saw the title. Of course, who could blame him?

I remember reading once about how Sean Connery would alternate roles that he truly wanted to do with roles that were strictly for the cash. I believe that he referred to them as a means to spend more time on the golf course. I've also heard that Jackson is an avid golfer. Are you thinkingg what I'm thinking?

So, next time you're hitting the links, should you happen to see Samuel L. Jackson sink a 30-foot putt, remember that it was likely made possible by "Snakes On A Plane."

Snakes On A Plane...see it with someone you love.