Ever have one of those moments?

Not the kind that are life altering or for all intents and purposes "special", but just memorable? One that stays with you long after the moment in question has long since passed? I had one last night...lend me your ear (or your eyes in this case.)

I was innocently sitting at my computer talking in instant message with a friend when I heard a knock on the front door downstairs. My sister was already down there, so her being the closest person to the door, answered it.

The stranger behind the door asked specifically for me. This man, I would soon come to find, I had never met before yet he knew my name. The whole idea was a little disconcerting at best. I cascaded down the stairway and opened the door.

Enter "Jack". A fresh-faced 22 year old man (kid?) from Portland, Oregon. He wore an oversized shirt and jeans, a baseball cap turned backwards and an innocent boyish face. But jack was not an innocent, not in terms of naiveté anyway, for he was on a mission.

I watched him try to maintain an awkward smile while his arms were ladled with books, brochures and various paraphernalia. As he began to rattle off what I am guessing to be a crudely thought up assembly line script of an opening, I saw "Jack" for what he truly was.

"Jack" was a salesman. Or, more correctly, a salesman-in-training. A purveyor of tonics, so to speak. His poison? Magazine subscriptions.

Now, anyone who knows me well knows of my inherent distaste of salespeople. They give me hives. The arrogant artificiality of their personalities makes my skin crawl. "Jack" was no different. I am usually not even able to withhold my contempt for them, but tonight I made it a point to be especially calm. It was going to be a delicate dance with this "Jack" whether he was aware of it or not.

He proceeded to tell me of how he had happened upon the door of a neighbor and friend of mine and after their transaction he asked if there was anyone else in the area he should consult. My friends sent him to me, unbeknownst to them, they were sending him to the fiery pits of salesman hell.

He gave me a handful of what looked like colored recipe cards with the lines removed. The card was filled with names of the different magazines he was bartering. None of them really caught my interest, but as I perused the cards, I was suddenly reminded of why I detest his kind so much.

"You're so cool and such a sweetheart for talking with me today. It's hard to find cool people like you out here."

There it was. The salesman's rallying cry.

"Kill'em with kindness."

Unfortunately for him, I'm always wary of unwarranted compliments thrown my way. Especially if they are excessive. I am unable to fall victim to flattery, for to me all flattery is is an attempt to get something from me. 99.9999% of the time, there is an ulterior motive. I can remember but one time when someone paid me a sincere compliment without wanting something in return. The rest of the time, it's usually by a guy trying to get in my pants, or another person either down on his/her luck and hoping complimenting me will get me to give them money, or they were complimenting me so that I could pay them a compliment in return, (i.e. a woman who's wearing a brand new dress would be more apt to compliment my outfit in hopes that it would make me evaluate hers thereby acknowledging her attire and give her praise accordingly). Or they were trying to sell me something. "Jack" obviously was the latter, and I was well aware of his tactics. I wasn't going to bite.

As I continued to look over his wares, he kept looking for things to comment on. When he suggested I was in college, I told him I was much older than that and he then gave me a "high five" sign for looking young for my age. I wanted desperately not to reciprocate, but I didn't want to leave him "hanging" as they say. I high-fived him without even looking up from my brochure. He went on to compliment the shirt I was wearing and even so far as to find the number on my door amusing because it reminded him of an episode of Sesame Street he had seen the day before.

Sesame Street?

Really, "Jack"?

I had to admit there were a few magazines I was interested in, but the few that caught my eye wanted to lock me into at least a 3 year subscription or more. Again, anyone who knows me, knows I have a problem with commitments, especially long term ones. I would not like a magazine subscription for longer than I've kept a boyfriend. I'm just not that kind of woman.

It seemed as though, "Jack's" patience was starting to wear thin. He quickly suggested that he come in and sit down so that he can start filling out the paperwork. (I might add that I had not yet invited him inside my house. The entire length of our interaction was contained on my front doorstep. The thought of inviting him in never even occurred to me before this.) That was the beginning of the end. I was stunned. I looked him square in the eye and told him I was not even sure if I wanted to buy anything from him yet. His gaze fell to the ground and he mumbled "ok". At this point I was pretty sure I wasn't buying anything from him. Even if I had found something I was interested in, his pure arrogance turned me off and we both knew it.

He tried to give me qualifiers on my potential purchases that if I was unhappy with the magazines I bought, I could just call the convenient 800 number on the bottom of the form and change my subscription to another magazine if I wanted to. The idea was less reassuring and more moot since I had trouble finding anything I wanted in the first place. Again, I wasn't biting.

As I continued to survey the lists, I had resigned myself to the fact that there was nothing there I wanted. I told him I wasn't really finding anything I was interested in and in a blink of an eye, the sweet, lighthearted and funny "Jack" changed. The air around us grew cold and his demeanor changed abruptly. His voice changed to a lower octave and impatience was the countenance on his face. He looked upset and told me, "I should go. I have a lot of houses to get to tonight." And with that, he was off without even a cursory "Thank you" or "Good-bye". In an instant, I went from being a "cool person" to not even being worthy of having the time I spent with him acknowledged. Although, honestly I can't say I expected any more.

As I turned and walked into the house I wanted to feel sorry for not buying anything from the poor kid. After all, he was trying to earn enough points for a trip to Europe. I tried to feel bad, and I did...for a moment. Until I thought more about what had just transpired between us. He was not a "kind" person, for all his compliments and light-heartedness, he wanted nothing more from me than money. Once he realized I wasn't going to give him any, I was of no use to him and I became insignificant. With that understanding, I can't really feel bad for him. Had he treated more like a "person" as opposed to a "sale" I may have been more responsive. This is why I detest salesmen. They seem to know nothing of people, saying everything they think I want to hear is not how you get me to buy something. Have an actual interest and be sincere. The phoniness is completely transparent and insulting.

Now, I just find the whole incident amusing and thought it would make a great anecdote for my blog. Don't get me wrong, I don't dislike "Jack" personally. I don't even know the guy. I just dislike what he tried to do to me and I dislike his profession. For all I know, "Jack" might actually be a kind hearted individual, but I can't imagine someone who is a sincerely kind hearted person can get much sleep at night being a salesman by day...but what do I know...?

Godspeed my young friend. I hope you get that trip to Europe.