Reflections on Being Afraid to Love

As the Valentine's Day draws nearer, we all tend to think and reflect about Love more. With love so widely celebrated on that day, things look all right. Love has to be alive and well with so many people exchanging gifts and cards and having romantic dinners. Yet during the rest of the year, something seems to be amiss in the love department. We all know plenty of stories of broken hearts, relationships, marriages. We hear people say that they are afraid to love because they are afraid of getting hurt. You open up your heart, give yourself completely to the other person, but what if their feeling for you is not genuine, or short-lived? You will end up alone with your pain. No one wants that. And next time, you will find it even more difficult to trust someone again.

So yes, love involves taking some risks. People who love are easily deceived and manipulated; that's just the sad truth. Knowing this, some decide to stay away from emotional attachments altogether. Is it wise? There is a funny Russian song that goes something like this: "If you have no dog, your neighbor will not poison it; if you have no wife, she will not cheat on you." I suppose we can add to it that if you do not love, you will not get hurt by the one you have fallen in love with. However, love-less life is no fun, either.

There is no such thing as a hundred percent fool-proof recipe to avoid betrayal and heartache, but I would advise using your brain and choosing very carefully whom you will give your heart to; it is too precious of a gift to be wasted on someone not worthy of it. Do not fall head over hills for a pretty face. Beauty is only skin deep, as we all know (but often seem to forget). If you know that this gorgeous woman has a history of cheating, what makes you think that she will be different with you? If you have watched this handsome playboy hurt other women, why do buy into his pretense of liking you? Do not flatter yourself by thinking that "it's the real thing this time," and your love for them will make them change their ways. This happens in movies and books, but very rarely in real life. Choose someone decent. Someone who knows and respects such old-fashioned words as Commitment, Honesty, and Morals. Someone who believes in the sanctity of Marriage. Bringing God into the picture and trusting your life and love into His hands isn't a bad idea, either.