Realizing why I am single
This singles group at church has been a wonderful blessing to me. I know that God sent this to me at the right time. I've had over a year of praying and meditating on my life and figuring out how I got to where I am now.

I love the way I am. Even if noone else does, I know that God has made me into who I am. Without the past experiences in my life, I may not have been able to hande some of the challenges that have been thrown my way.

Each day is a stepping stone to the person we are today. Some people refuse to acknowledge, accept, or understand God's play into our lives. I was guilty of that too, until the last year.

In my heart and soul, I am in so much peace.

Like Jesus said, he didn't come for the righteous. He came for the sinners. He came for the people with a past. He came to save our souls and really our lives.

So now to why I am single. Because I am an idiot. Not one of my past relationships were based on a biblical basis. I've never dated a man that works at being a Christian. In the back of my mind, I wanted to do the church thing and live a Christian life. I even attempted to get a few into church. But everything was messed up from the get go.

You don't meet a person and than try to get them in church. You find a person that already lives that lifestyle. The bible teaches no bad character traits. I would love to find a man that loves me like god loves the church.

So God was trying to speak to me all along, and like an idiot I didn't catch on. Until the last year.

So how does this affect my relationship status? I will never date a man that's not an active Christian. I am not going to be having any premarital sex. I won't marry someone just so I can have sex. I don't want to try before I buy. I want to fall in love with someone's mind and dedication to Christ. Any man that can dedicate his life to God and have that much faith is amazing. I can only imagine how he would be in a relationship and eventual marriage.

See in the long run, sex isn't everything and it's really nothing. It's having someone to share your life with, someone to pray with, someone to hold your kids and tell them that they love them, and someone to hold you at night that's important.

I will never settle for some cheap and shallow relationship again. After my last marriage, it was a wake up call to me. I've spent the last year praying and becoming the person God wants me to be. And I feel peace and happiness.

Like everyone else in this world, I wanted to be involved with someone. And we live in a hasty world. And I ended up settling. And guess what? It doesn't work. You or I can't dictate when that right person is coming into our lives.

So that's why I am single. And I will be single until that special person comes.