Plot to Kill a World Leader - Risk getting 'Flicked'

That’s right. Up here in Canada we aren’t messing around with these terror dudes. You plot to behead the prime minister of Canada and we WILL flick you in the eye – so you better think twice Osama!

Now I acknowledge that being a terrorist is one of the few jobs where ‘not being the sharpest tool in the shed’ may actually be seen as a recruiting perk. Generally, having a high IQ and being willing to strap dynamite to your body do not tend to go hand in hand. However, while stupidity would appear to be the norm for being a professional ‘self detonating guy’ the members of the recently apprehended terrorist cell in Canada appear to have taken the fine art of stupidity to a whole new level.

In a stunning revelation released in a nation wide press release this afternoon, the very bearded, very Muslim looking legal defense team for this group of suicide nut jobs has come out with the stunning allegation that one of their clients was actually ‘FLICKED IN THE EYE’while in custody!!!

Yes, that’s right… FLICKED IN THE EYE!

I don’t know about you, but when I heard this on the evening news I actually dropped my gin and tonic…

I probably should have warned some of my more squeamish readers that this type of graphic content was coming. I apologize. It seems that up here in Canada, when we want to lean on you to uncover a national threat to kill thousands of people, blow up national landmarks AND kill our country’s leader, we pull out all the stops…

Hook you up to a car battery? Na, that’s for those CIA and Vietcong ‘old skool’ types pussies.

Hold your head under water till your lungs explode? Too nice, plus the mafia has been doing this one to death…

Pull out your fingernails with a rusty pair of pliers? Appealing, but the Israelis would seem to have taken out a trade patent on this.

Nope. Up here in Canada, if you decide to attack us we are going to go full scale medieval on your sorry ass.

If you screw with us we will FLICK YOU IN THE EYE! We’re sorry. We know it’s harsh, but we are just plain tired of screwing around with you Islamic fundamentalist ‘nutters’…

It’s our line in the sand. You cross it, you get flicked.

You have now been warned.