Maybe it's because the weather has been so gray and wet for so long, or maybe it's because I'm in the mood to hold a pity party for myself....but I have been feeling rather lonely and out of touch with my circle of friends lately. And this is making me realize more and more each day how important it is to have a close knit group of friends that you can see regularly, a sounding board for your emotions, bad hair days, boy/girl troubles, money issues, etc. People that you go out and make a fool of yourself with and can still just sit outside at a park swatting mosquitos and not saying much.

When I was traveling for work, the same group of us would end up in the same cities together, sometimes all together, sometimes just a few of us, be it Milan, Miami, or somewhere in Asia, it was such a great comfort knowing that I would get off a plane and in a few hours be able to take a tram or metro and meet up with my cronies.

There was such a bond between all of us. Pretty unexplicable really, Maybe it was because we were all thrown into these foreign places, not really knowing the language or the culture and we'd find some sort of comfort & camaraderie with each other. We'd end up partying with celebrities in nightclubs, hanging out at endlessly long castings with each other, sitting at the park watching gypsies try to sell hashish to tourists or just rip off their purses and wallets. We'd hop on trains and take day trips to the coast of Taiwan or Venice Italy, eat local specialties, buy trinkets and postcards, take pictures, drink wine out of boxes, and then head back to our far from glamorous "model's apartments".

We would end up getting lost on the way to a fashion show afterparty, and somehow find a shortcut, completely unintentionally, through woods on the side of an autobahn. We'd spend hours text messaging each other deep philosophical quotes and complete balderdash. We'd eat food from roadside stands always praying that the next day our intestines would remain intact. We'd lay around in the candlelight thinking about how much we would all miss each other once the season was over. I miss my friends. My band of brothers and sisters in spirit. I have a son and husband and some new friends all of which I adore and am eternally grateful for...but I just can't shake the nostalgia, the melancholy of having "my crew" disbanded and so far away. Some live in Canada, some in Los Angeles, one is in Africa, and a few are in New York. These are the people that saw me grow into the woman I am today. They inspired me, shaped me, brought me laughter and tears. And they will forever be irreplaceable.

In a perfect world, we'd all live in the same city. Our significant others would all get along and our kids and would-be kids would grow up together......but alas, this is not to be. So I get to sit in this little pity party of one, missing my peeps....*sigh*. And thanks to MySpace, which has been demonized as of late, I can still keep in touch "virtually" with many of them.....pictures and all.....and might I add that I have some lovely blackmail pictures of all of them...! Those were the days.......

I just hope my son grows up to have friends like these. They are worth far more than gold.