The tenth pattern of distorted thoughts is to believe that we should change or influence other people’s lives, since what they do or think should be important for us.

There is a reality and it is that life, the problems and the other’s behavior doesn't concern us. We should not erect ourselves in judges neither in protectors of the other ones. This is an error that we very commonly commit. It is not a lot what we can do to influence the lives of the others and most of the time we will come out badly harmed in our intents to correct them.

Each one of us should make his the philosophy of to live and to allow others too. Many times we inconvenience ourselves or grieve for the behavior of the other ones, however it is only because our interpretation of the matter that we feel bad, since this person perhaps doesn't feel bad for his behavior, neither think the same way that we do. We should only take participation in the problems of other people if they request it, and even this way we should be very cautious in what we say, because frequently we advise what we believe that is better for us and not for the person that we are advising.

Under any circumstances we should try to impose our help on somebody that has not requested it. We should only intervene when the behavior of the other affects us in some way and in this case we should be about to ventilate the matter with that person and try to find a solution. However, there will be many situations in which we will have to learn how to live with a specific person if another alternative doesn't exist. Perhaps it will be good to consider that all human beings have lacks and different opinions on every matter of life.

We should make the decision of not allowing that anger or frustration dominate us in circumstances where we are forced to not communicating our point of view, because some kind of psychological or real repression exists. Each one of us has integrity in spite of the circumstances. The first idea that we analyzed of distorted thought was that we cannot please everybody the whole time and this tenth pattern says that we should not try to change or to influence in others’ lives, that we should not be buried in discussions that lead us to nothing. Let every one live his life his own way, and let us help people only when they request it, and even in that case let us be very cautious, because this can cause us problems in spite of our best intentions.