Our natural tendencies.

I was reading an article about human nature and whether we are born bad, or good. The post was just that question, but the responses were numerous and somewhat bizarre. Some of them were okay, but it had developed into craziness and very little actual discussion.

Many people believe we are born neutral and learn bad or good. My view? That’s semi-true only to a certain extent. As new born babies may not show a tendency either way, but small babies haven’t developed an awareness of their environment yet, so tendencies for decision making won’t show up.

When children begin to become aware of the environment around them and that they can affect it, you begin to see something different. We are not “complete” products of our environment. I know some may not like my answer, but we DO have a tendency toward bad.

Hold on, I’ll explain!

Think about child development and what we DO have to teach and what we DON’T. There are certain degrees in all, and some children need more attention in certain areas then others. But in general:

We DO have to teach a child to share. We DO have to teach patience. We DO have to teach how to control a temper. We do have to teach responsibility. We DO have to teach obedience. We DO have to teach how to give without expectation (this is more true when a child begins to understand ownership). We DO have to teach courtesy. We DO have to teach how to consider other people’s needs.

We DON’T have to teach a child to lie. We DON’T have to teach a child to hit. We DON’T have to teach a child to throw a temper tantrum. We DON’T have to teach one to be mean to another, or lash out in anger. We DON’T have to teach a child to sass. We DON’T have to teach how to be rude, or disrespectful when things don’t go his/her way.

I have spent years working with children in one form or another. From small children to working at facilities for troubled teenagers. These are not my opinions, these are observable and measurable.

Again, there are many degrees between children. There are those children that are easier to coach than others (if you have one of them, your friends may be jealous of you). Then there are those who have a great environment and loving parents, but still need to learn things the hard way. You know, bailing them out of jail at 16 years old, that sort of thing.

With each, good and bad, there are two different approaches to learning. Good: We have to teach children what being good actually is. Bad: We have to teach what the consequences are for doing what is considered bad. If a child is left uncoached, he/she will naturally seek out meeting their own “needs” in a highly selfish manner, not extending themselves out to others. Well, they do anyway, but we can steer it a little.

We tend to be selfish and self centered to a large degree, even as adults who HAVE been taught. Rriiiiigghht? Be honest!

Many link these traits to the animal kingdom. The “bad” part of us certainly doesn’t come from the animals. Animals are instinctive; they don’t make complicated decisions like we do. It's not that they don’t problem solve, they just can’t think through their decision making in the same way.

When we are talking about children, or adults for that matter, the “bad” part cames from more complicated reasoning and decision making. Someone lying, stealing, cheating, or generally being malicious or deceitful, is a human trait that animals don’t share. Often these traits don't have to be learned.

When animals are being “bad” it’s an instinctive trait, often trying to gain dominance, or reacting out of perceived self preservation, not high level thinking.

A little social issue for thought.

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