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how painful can it get knowing that the house where we lived half of our lives is now a solitary dwelling... the house my dad and mom built together in love... the house where we as a family built memories..

it was when dad came home from abroad.. an alarming news reached us.. it was just the start. everything followed. it was our family's worst time ever.. whenever the thought of how hard those days were for dad and mom hits me, i fall into painful, choking tears... if only I can obliterate everything and change it into something great.. something that my family would want to remember.. if only I can do something. but no, it is too impossible.. it is unbearably difficult. everything has been done.

and so it has been decided.. that we all live apart from each other.. for our own sakes. it was a tough decision for everyone to make but it has been agreed upon.

it has been over a year since that extremely distressing incident occured. everything seems to be going a little well this time. but the house that has been a great part of our lives still stands deserted. i am in no doubt that in time---in God's time, we will go back and rebuild bundle of memories in that house that sturdily sheltered us through a good deal of hardships... It deserves to have us back again.. to take care and look after it. After all it is not just our house.. it is our home.

***i hope i can tell you how it all happened. only two good friends know... it still pains me and will always will i guess. i hope there is a cure to all this.. i really do...

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