Osama picks Biden, hands election to McCain

Joseph Biden

By GERALD CARROLL
geraldcarroll@hotmail.com

The camp of presumed Republican nominee John McCain is rejoicing after it was prematurely leaked late Friday night that Sen. Joseph Biden, R-Del., has been selected as the vice-presidential running mate for presumed Democratic candidate for President, Barack Obama.

Biden is an idiot, and at 65 he’s almost as old as McCain, who’s 71. Both will have to be propped up between now and election day in November, and bets are that at least one will drop dead from a heart attack or stroke before Americans get a chance to vote for either geezer.

Barack Obama

Some insane lunatic in the Osama – oops, I mean Obama – camp had the idea that Biden would be a great pick because of his “foreign policy experience” as chairman of the Senate’s Foreign Relations Committee. Yes, the same committee that has shredded the Bush Administration’s War on Terror initiatives and wrecked relations with many of our most trusted allies overseas.

This would be laughable if it weren’t so tragic. Biden has also headed up the Judiciary Committee for umpteen years. In other words, Biden is just the type of Washington insider that Obama is supposed to hate, the same kind of guy Obama describes McCain as epitomizing.

John McCain

This is the greatest news for the Republicans since Al Gore decided to all that air-polluting, global-warming-gases producing waste airplane fuel to spread the false gospel of global warming across teh globe rather than seek another shot at the presidency.

Geez, even Hillary would have been a better pick. At least she’s has a background from the South (Arkansas) and her weight among female voters remains very strong. Further, this stupid choice of Biden will furtehr disenfranchise her cultish followers, most of whom will now cross over and vote for McCain.

Hillary Clinton

But Biden? Give me a break! He’s more of an Eastern blueblood than even John Kerry. The consequences are disastrous for the Democrats. Biden is despised throughout the South for his stand against the Branch Davidians who were wiped out in the fiery Waco catastrophe in 1993, and for helping botch the investigation into the Oklahoma City bombing in 1995.

That means the Southern states will all flock to McCain and carry the GOP just as it did in 1968 and 1972 with Richard Nixon, in 1980 and 1984 with Ronald Reagan, in 1988 with George Bush Sr. and in 2000 and 2004 with the younger Bush.

Repeat: Joe Biden is an idiot, and McCain will now easily sweep to the Presidency no matter who he picks as his vice-presidential running mate.

Best in J-Pop