Blogger Party

For the past 35 years, I have raised children. Three of them just as I turned 40. For someone who loved philosophy, discussions, and coffee houses, I spent the last three decades listening to Big Bird, Burt & Ernie and Mister Rogers teach me my alphabet.

When there were a few quiet moments in the house, I used to tune into Phil Donahue & Dick Cavett. For a few miniscule minutes I could actually join the adult world I left behind in college. But it didn't last. Both talk show hosts were replaced by Oprah, Morey, & Jerry. Sesame Street began to look pretty darn good.

Time seemed to always slip through my hands. I rushed through the day and collapsed in exhaustion at night. I felt as if there was no deliniation between day & night.

There was the language thing too. My vocabulary seemed to stall on a Reading Rainbow level and many of the common words I had used for years were suddenly evading me. Things like....the remote control became the clicker....you know.....kiddie words....words I could think of quickly.

My mind has yet to understand the kids are grown and I don't have to hurry. The days of gulping down a meal so that I could get to the next thing on my list are over...but my brain hasn't computed it yet. The days of rushing into & out of the bathroom should be over....but I don't yet realize it.

35 years of rushing, trying to get kids picked up, the dog fed, the dinner on the table, the laundry done, and the million and one other chores to do, has widened the gap between the left and right hemispheres of my brain.

I am not organized in my blogs. I'm not even organized in my life. Time was my enemy too long to turn back now.

BUT......maybe....just maybe..... one day when I'm watering the plants with baby powder and the nice attendant smiles sweetly as he/she leads me back to my comfy padded room, I will somehow correctly and with perfection categorize the names of my children and be able to call them all by the correct name.