I reckon you all know how much I love jokes and I figured that being an Aussie I would throw one in with a bit of Aussie flavour. Now, they reckon that duct tape is absolutely marvelous and can be used in almost any situation except for perhaps the following one.

Duncan walks into a bar and sees his friend Paul slumped over the bar. He walks over and asks Paul what’s wrong.

“Well,” replies Paul, “You know that beautiful girl at work that I wanted to ask out, but I got an erection every time I saw her?”

“Yes,” replies Duncan with a laugh.

“Well,” says Paul, straightening up, “I finally plucked up the courage to ask her out, and she agreed.”

“That’s great!” says Duncun, “When are you going out?”

“I went to meet her this evening,” says Paul, ” but I was worried I’d get an erection again. So I got some duct tape and taped my penis to my leg, so if I did, it wouldn’t show.

“Sensible” says Duncan.

“So I get to her door,” says Paul, “and I rang her doorbell. She answered it in the sheerest, tiniest dress you ever saw.”

“And what happened then?”

(Paul slumps back over the bar again.) “I kicked her in the face.”