I'm not much either on personal vanity or on the exploitation of vanity by the corporate world. Of course, anyone who's seen my picture will recognize instantly that, as far as beauty goes, mine is a case for Saint Jude. This circumstance does have a benefit - the money not spent on beauty aids is available for trivial matters like food, clothing, and shelter. It also means that, when I need eyeglasses, I can pick up a pair for $10 from Walgreens, rather than investing a fortune on contact lenses and the forest of products needed to maintain them. Which means I'm immune from the latest health scare - eye disease from contact lenses.

You wear contacts? You just read that post about Fusarium keratitis? Well, before you go postal, sit down and listen a minute.

What is "Fusarium keratitis" anyway? Keratitis is an infection of the cornea, the lens part of that camera you call your eye. Fusarium is a genus of filamentous fungi, one of several that can cause an infection of the cornea. Fusarium fungi are everywhere, they grow in the dirt, on walls, on plants, you name it. They do like warmer climates better than colder ones, though - so you're more likely to get a Fusarium infection in Atlanta than New York.

How likely is likely? I understand that there have been less than 200 cases reported in America since last June. Out of some 30 million wearers of soft contact lenses. That many people die in road accidents in America in a week. And let's leave Iraq out of this for once. We're not exactly talking influenza or bubonic plague.

Nor is this "Fusarium keratitis" stuff a new thing. Keratitis caused by fungi and other microbes is a far more common problem in tropical climates than in America - especially in places where sanitation is poor. It's also a problem in veterinary medicine.

How do you get it? Not easily. If it were easy, everybody'd be blind, because the spores of Fusarium fungi are just about everywhere, especially, as I said before, where it's warm. But the fungi can't get themselves stuck into a healthy eye. They're too wimpy. They need help, the microscopic equivalent of a stick in the eye to create the hole they need to gain a mycelium hold.

This is where the vanity part comes in. That and laziness, begging your pardon. Putting contacts in and taking them out is a bother. Wouldn't it be far better to just put them in and keep them there? Sure it would! And the companies have been only too glad to provide the world with soft contact lenses and a battery of solutions to bathe them in, so they remain soft and smooth and lubricated and you can leave those lenses in all night long if you like. BUT - the longer the lenses stay in the eye, the more chance for the eye to dry out under the lenses and get scratched - just the toehold the fungus needs. I read that the incidence of Fusarium keratitis increases if the lens wearer keeps the lenses in the eyes overnight. Hmmmm ...

Of course it doesn't help that the factory, where the solutions most closely associated with the "outbreak" of Fusarium keratitis were made, was cited by the FDA a few years ago, presumably for inadequate cleanliness. But if a large percentage of the company's products were infected with fungal spores, I would have anticipated one hell of a lot more cases in the past year than 200. Seems more likely that the company's claims about the effectiveness of their products in allowing lens users to treat their soft contacts as permanent eye grafts are a tad over the top. You're still better off pulling the suckers out and cleaning them properly every night. Or just going to Walgreen's (or wherever you need to) to buy good old fashioned glasses.

If you have a hankering to see what fungal keratitis looks like, and what it can do if mistreated, go here. But be warned, some of the pictures are gross.

   - O Ceallaigh

Copyright © 2006 Felloffatruck Publications. All wrongs deplored.

All opinions are mine as a private citizen.