Ode to The Oldman

This poem (and I use that term in only the most generalized of senses) is for Sassys, who challenged me, the brat! And now I owe Gary Oldman another apology. Sorry about this, dude! I just can't back away from a challenge.

Ode to The Oldman

Here's to The Oldman, bold man, cold man.
The bad man, sad man, mad man, Vlad man.
He makes us sigh. Oh, my, oh, my!
To The Oldman, what a guy!

Norman’s kind of scary
But he could have my cherry.
When Romeo’s not bleedin'
He sends my pulse a-speedin'.

Charlie’s just bad
And that makes me sad.
The Reverend as well,
Those scripts were from hell.

But when it comes to Beethoven
My heart fires like a cannon.
And Jackie sends me swooning,
Makes me want to do some spooning.

Vlad could bite my neck
I’d bite him back, what the heck.
Jean-Baptist makes me laugh
And I’m sure he has a good half.

When playing a monster like Milton
His performance can’t be beaten.
And even Dr. Smith
Had oodles of pith
(and vinegar).

So, here's to The Oldman, bold man, cold man.
The bad man, sad man, mad man, Vlad man.
He makes us sigh. Oh, my, oh, my!
To The Oldman, what a guy!