Often when people decide to get healthy and lose weight things go well for a few days, maybe a week or so, and then something happens which sends the individual back into his or her unhealthy eating patterns.

There are many possible factors in this equation, but what it seems to often boil down to is deprivation.

If you tell yourself that you will not eat one single morsel of anything remotely fattening or unhealthy, there comes a point of temptation when it becomes difficult to stick to your resolve. Often it’s nearly impossible because you have set unrealistic expectations for yourself.

My first suggestion is to figure out the difference between what is bad for your health, what is good for your health, and what is okay in moderation. Most things are okay in moderation.

For example, I have completely banned things like fast food and hydrogenated oils. There are other things on the list that come close to being officially “banned,� such as red meat and anything over processed or made with white flour.

As a general rule, there are many things that I do not eat and which do not exist in my cupboards or refrigerator. However, if I’m at a party or my mother-in-law has made dinner for me, I might eat a small portion of the nearly-banned foods, or choose a sliver of apple pie made with white flour over the chocolate cake made with white flour.

When you deprive yourself you create a plethora of other problems that can lead to reverting to your old eating habits.

If someone decides to go ahead and eat something that they had told themselves was off limits, he or she can then feel like a failure and that the whole plan is in the trash. This is the age of recycling! If you’ll give that plastic bottle a chance to be something new, why not yourself?

If you feel like you’ve had a “bad� day when it comes to eating or exercising, not all is lost. Tell yourself that, yeah, you indulged a bit, okay, but you can still wake up in the morning, have a healthy breakfast and take a nice walk around the lake or through the park to get your day off to a good start.

For me, I try not to let it get to the point where I feel like I had a horribly unhealthy day. Let’s say I went to my mother-in-law’s for lunch and ate a bit heavier and less healthy than usual. After that I sipped some overly sugared tea and munched on a couple sweet almond homemade Algerian cookies.

There was a point when this would have made me depressed and possibly a little sick just thinking about it. It might have even bothered me for days. Nowadays, I ask my husband to go for a walk with me afterwards to get a little exercise, then we go home and have a light dinner, and I let it slide away from my mind. For me, this has been a learning process which has developed as my relationship with food has become healthier over the past few years.

And yet still, sometimes I look at a pie or a cake and I think, I could practically eat that whole thing by myself, a few years ago I would have. I know that not everyone in the room is staring at that cake and imagining him or herself devouring every square inch of it, because not everyone has a 20 plus year relationship with overeating the way that I do.

It’s not easy. It’s never been easy, and it probably never will be easy. But I believe that not depriving myself completely has helped me stick to my new lifestyle for the last few years, because if I don’t let myself have just a little taste of that oh-so-yummy thing, I might just find myself in the kitchen at night with a whole cheesecake and a fork.

When I remember the way I used to eat, and face the cravings and inclinations I still have to eat that way, I realize how truly hard it has been. Sometimes it’s discouraging to think that it will always be like this, that even after losing 200 pounds, my brain still just wants to pig out. Haven’t you learned anything you pesky brain and tummy?

It’s not easy to break a habit of a lifetime, and even if the cravings never go away, and the rest of my life is a struggle with food, I can’t give up.

Depriving yourself is not only self-destructive, but it can get in the way of some interesting experiences, especially if you travel or enjoy trying exotic foods. If you allow yourself to give in a bit on special occasions, then you’ll be less likely to give up completely and let your old habits take over.

To quote my favorite show:

“Some days are harder than the really hard days.�
-Willow, on fighting her addiction to magic. Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Dead Things.