My Near Death Experience

I had a near death experience when I was 23.

I have suffered from asthma my entire life. And I have what you would
probably classify as the "life threatening" kind. I don't just get a
little winded or wheezy. I actually get where my lungs close off so
much that I can barely stand up, I can barely talk, and taking my
next breath is a real struggle. It's like breathing through a straw
with a cotton ball on the other end and then having someone sit on your chest.

When I was 23 I had an extremely horrible asthma attack. Unfortunately,
I was married to an extremely uncaring man at the time. When I told him
I needed to go to the ER, his attitude was "well, go". Um, I can barely walk.
I certainly can't drive. We had a newborn son at the time and first I had
to wait for my husband to decide that oh, maybe he should take me to the hospital.
Then I had to wait for him to leisurely go pick up our babysitter.

I sat in our apartment gasping for air for nearly an hour. Believe me,
when you can't breathe, five minutes is hell. And of course by this time,
even though I know it's a terrible thing to do, I was crying and I was scared,
which only makes things worse.

We finally arrived at the hospital and I slowly and painfully made my way
from our car into the lobby of the ER. I couldn't stand up straight. My head
was pounding. My heart was pounding. It was a nightmare.

A nurse quickly got me a wheelchair and took me back into a room to begin
my breathing treatment. While sitting there in the ER, the nurse tried to give
me the breathing treatment and I was so weak from loss of oxygen that I didn't
even WANT to breathe anymore. She kept handing me the hose and I kept dropping
the hose back on the bed. She calmly coaxed me to hold it and to try to breathe
as deeply as I could. But I had had enough. I wanted it all over.

Usually when I'm having an asthma attack I can't lay down because that just
makes it harder to breathe. But for some reason, I just laid back on the bed
because I think I was literally giving up.

That was when the room got really bright and I felt the glorious sense of peace.
It wasn't a painful bright light. It didn't hurt my eyes. And the light was everywhere,
the whole room was engulfed in it. I felt happy. I felt carefree. I felt like I was
me but I wasn't me anymore, lifeless yet full of life, weightless. I felt the
feeling of welcoming. I felt ready to go "home". And then a voice said, "You can't
go yet, go back."

The light went away, the room returned to normal, and my breathing slowly improved.
The nurse told me later that if I had waited any longer to get to the ER, they
wouldn't have been able to save me.

I found out later that week that I was expecting my second baby.

That was the beginning of my new "spirituality", my new sense of love for GOD. I don't
fear death. I certainly don't FEAR GOD. How could I? My experience has showed me
there's nothing to fear. I continually strive to be a better person. I want to learn
more and get more spiritual, to get closer to God, and to share his love. Because when
you come right down to it, It's all love!

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