Move To The Other Side?

Submitted by Catfish on May 2, 2007 - 4:28pm. diversity | eli roth

Okay, maybe I'm paranoid, but this type of thing happens often. I'm putting it out there because folks just don't understand themselves.

I've lived in this neighborhood for almost 7 years now. There isn't a plethora of black people here, and where I'm living, when we first moved here there were few black people in the city; more now. Now, most everyone in the neighborhood knows we live here; trust me on this one.

So, this evening, early, I decided to take a quick walk down to the school and back, just to get a little bit of atmosphere. My wife was on the phone, so I walked by myself.

It's a beautiful evening, but still relatively cool, so there weren't a lot of people out walking around. No matter; it's a quiet and safe neighborhood, though, I'm a big guy, so I'm not worried about my own safety. And I'm in my upper 40's, which means my hair is now two-toned, relatively short, and I dress relatively conservatively. In other words, I don't look dangerous at all; never have.

So, I get to the school, walk around the circle, and head back towards the house. I noticed someone walking my way, on the same side of the street. I figure out it's a female fairly quickly, and I'm not thinking anything much about it, but I know what's coming.

Sure enough, at some point, she walks across the street so that she doesn't have to walk towards me anymore. And, when she gets near me, she makes sure she stares straight ahead so she doesn't have to acknowledge me. Because I mentally prepared myself for it, I wasn't insulted and I didn't get upset, but I did start running this commentary through my mind.

I saw myself saying across the street "I wasn't going to hurt you, you know. Every black man you encounter isn't going to attack you." Her response would have been "Oh, I wasn't thinking about that. I'm not like that, and I'm sorry you took it that way." Yeah, right.

You know, people just don't think about their actions and how others will interpret them. When I told my wife this story she smirked and said "of course", because it happens all the time. I mean, come on; how many people have been attacked in the middle of the street by someone else just walking? During the day, where there are still other people walking or driving? In a fairly nice neighborhood? By middle aged black men, or white men, or any other men, or women?

Sigh,... more of waht it's like being a black man in America. Even moving up in the world, we're still the "black people in the neighborhood", not the equals who have achieved something.

And people wonder why I talk about this stuff all the time.

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Catfish, I just don't know what to say.

Submitted by Pussy Willow on May 3, 2007 - 6:19am.

That people are still this bigoted and ignorant still amazes and infuriates me. But I also feel sorry for those people. That woman had a chance to look into your eyes and see who you are, the beautiful soul that I know shines from your eyes - and she threw that opportunity away. She'll never know just how she cheated herself. The ignorant bitch.

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And I'm friendly, PW,...

Submitted by Catfish on May 3, 2007 - 7:52am.

as I'd greeted the few other people and said hello, and with a smile. But as I said, sometimes it's an unconscious thought in their minds that makes them do it. I still don't like it, though.

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My god, of course you don't like it, Catfish.

Submitted by Pussy Willow on May 3, 2007 - 8:35am.

It seems worse, to me, than getting a slap in the face. And she definitely came out on the losing end - she missed out on a friendly greeting and the chance to exchange good energy with another good soul.

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You are doing the best thing and only thing you can do Catfish

Submitted by Sassys on May 3, 2007 - 11:57am.

Sassys
To discuss it, is to teach it! I am sorry this happened to you...people are stupid and totally in denial. It's sad.

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Thank You Sassys

Submitted by Catfish on May 3, 2007 - 5:22pm.

it's these little things that come up all the time which tells me just how much further we have to go to be on equal footing in America.

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Positive discrimination

Submitted by xingtiao on May 3, 2007 - 7:16pm.

Hi Catfish,

It would be a lie to say I know how you feel, being a WCFP (White Celtic, Formerly Protestant). I'm living in China and the responses of people in the street to me are polarized into two groups. Some people, mainly men over forty, look at me with cold eyes and suspicion. Other people, mainly the young and a few people over about seventy, are absolutely thrilled to see me. Aside from that basic division educators and shopkeepers think I'm solid gold and try to cash in.

I feel for you brother. I've marched together with my Australian Aboriginal brothers and sisters at the end of the sixties when they were fighting for their rights. I must pay a tribute to my father - When I was a boy in Scotland we would occasionally see a black person (rare in those days) and he would often say 'Handsome people, aren't they.' I thank him that I have never felt any racism in my soul and was able to have the privelege of being accepted by the Australian Aboriginal community.

Just be sad for the ones that have closed their minds to inter-racial relationships Catfish. They are missing a lot.

If the value of each human being is equal to the value of the one you love why would you ever participate in killing by war or any other activity with deadly intent. http://bloggerparty.com/blog/xingtiao (general but centred on China) http://www.soulcast

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Interesting comment, xingtiao,...

Submitted by Catfish on May 3, 2007 - 9:41pm.

it does always come down to perspective. However, there's a much different vibe where you are than here. For one, China is filled mainly with Chinese; America is supposed to be a melting pot, a salad if you will, of peoples of different colors and the like. Two, China and Chinese have a fairly good reason to hate whites, based on imperialism of the past; black people in America have had no power ever in America, plus we've always been the minority.

By the way, why are you in China, and does your name mean something? I tried researching it online, but of course most of the sites I got have question marks instead, since I don't have the Chinese translator set up on my computer. And finally, how are you able to blog while in China, since I know they look at everything and sometimes censor it also?

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Unobtrusive control

Submitted by xingtiao on May 4, 2007 - 2:06am.

Xingtiao is a combination of the Chinese words for star and dance and is 'Engese', the opposite of 'Chinglish'. No Chinese person would recognize it. It is a bit of a laugh at myself as I intended to blog about Chinglish and the need for good translation.

Now I'm laughing at the title I gave this comment. There is nothing unobtrusive about the way the Chinese Government controls the population. Police and army are everywhere and anyone with a reasonable income lives in clusters of appartments with walls round them and guards marching round. For safety that's useful. Students at university have compulsory politics subjects where they are given ideological perspectives which they must reproduce accurately to pass their politics exam. Chinese people must register with their city of residence and changing that is an expensive business and foreigners must register their address with the Public Security Bureau. The PSB not only runs the Police but controls Customs, birth registration and national ID cards, and many other things. I guess they are closely linked with the army. After three and a half years I've made their presence part of my mental wallpaper. They have never directly interfered with my life other than the routine compliances and I have always had pleasant interactions with them. I take the initiative in being friendly and get good responses.

Why am I in China? Sometimes I ask myself the same thing and reading my blog you might wonder why. I burnt out of my work in Australia and decided it was time to follow a lifelong dream of travel. Health problems made it possible I didn't have a lot of time left (but I'm going to live to 100) so off I went. China is the door that opened and I don't regret it. Some of our identity is formed by opposition, knowing what we're not, adolescent behaviour for example, so my sense of self is getting stronger. I have some beautiful friendships and a new love that I'm in no hurry to walk away from. Chinese people in general are friendly and I like them. I also enjoy my clumsy attempts with the language and love temples and historic sites and want to get to as many of the beautiful tourist destinations as possible and want to have the chance to go to more out of the way places too.

I agree that there is no just and true reason for white people in America hating blacks. The African-American people were victims of Imperialism, not perpetrators. The psychology of racism is beyond me so I am reduced to phrases like 'human nature'. I sometimes agonize over the future of humankind if we can't change that, but I doubt that we can. I hate to say we need to learn how to live with it but what else can we do?

There is no one standing over my shoulder saying I can or cannot blog. The Great Firewall works by monitoring what goes in and out of China. If someone decides that my critiques are dangerous (and I can't see how they could be) I could have my visa renewal refused. As I am restricting my blogs to my direct observations, street level stuff, there shouldn't be a problem.

Wow! You really got me thinking there. I had better stop before this blog becomes a blurt!

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Catfish Friend

Submitted by 2catdave on May 4, 2007 - 2:54am.

there is just no figuring out the why's of it all sometimes catfish. I read your posts about discrimination...and I think very deeply about the underlying causes, and God knows it makes me sick to never have the right words to say to you about these things catfish, even though I am deeply troubled and I am never unmoved by your words.

I think the only way change can occur in this country of ours is if people like yourself keep it forever in the minds and the faces of the ignorant 'assed' masses how terribly wrong assuming anything about another person is no matter what their color,race,gender,blood type, religion,check book balance,where they live,how they dress, or any other thing...because of the fact that we are all just people and no other living human has the right to judge another by anything so superficial, but the narrow minded bigotted will,and that sadly for now almost is a given. I hope you can be encouraged by those of us who comment here to continue to fight the 'good' and right fight.

My own reasoning is...when all is said and done "dust we are and to dust we shall return," our bodies at least.

"Rich man/pauper/woman/black/white/red/yellow/green/whatever...won't matter one of these days, because dust can't discriminate against dust. It also won't matter whether you have a spiritual faith or belief or not...this transformation will happen unless scientests figure out how to keep the human species going on living in perpetual limbo, but one thing you can besure of, all of those ignorant people who wrongly discriminate against you now...will also be dust, only they sadly will forever smell and look like a big pile of D O G shit, and you never can Catfish. 2cat

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