Mothers and Memories

As I was preparing the last goodie bags for my children's Valentine's Day, I remembered the last huge blowout that I witnessed between Ex-Prince Charming and his mother. He harbored a lot of anger towards her and that day, I triggered it.

See, it was the night before Valentine's Day 8 years ago and I was preparing the goodie bags for my kids to take to school. I had purchased tons of candy and made 75 bags for three of my kids to take to school and distribute to their classmates. The ex looked at the brown shopping bags full of goodie bags and Valentine's Day cards and stomped off to confront his mother. ( We were in her house.) He angrily stated, "Why didn't you ever do that for me?" and that was the beginning of WW III.

Why did I do it? Why did I participate in my children's activities, their school trips, bake cupcakes and unexpectedly drop off ice pops on blistering hot days? I knew the answer. My mom had been the example and I followed her tradition. I still remember my mother baking the cupcakes and dropping them off, still hot from the oven. I remember her pushing the stroller with one hand and carrying the cpucakes in the other. She was a caring mom, yes she had a husband a good provider unlike my ex-mother-in-law, but she went above and beyond her responsibilities. I am a single parent, much like my ex-mother-in-law and I still go out of my way to let my children know that they are loved,thought of and valued. She was distracted by many other pursuits and he still holds a grudge because of it.

Little things are what memories are made of. Isn't it the smell of that vanilla wafting in the spring air that reminds one of Grandma's cookies, or the smell of a new crisp book that brings on the butterflies in the stomach assoicated with the first day of school. Hearing a spanish choir song brings me back to the memory of my mother, singing to my little sister while soothing her with the rocking chair. The taste of pasteles always brings me back to Thanksgiving and our family gatherings. Being in the department stores and hearing all the sounds reminds me of all the shopping trips my mom and I made to Macy's on the quest for the perfect outfit.

I am grateful that my mother made it her mission to be that mom that the kids always remember. My mom was that mom other kids wanted, the one kids wished for and admired. I now strive to be a mom that my children will confide in, that they can trust and that will always tell them the truth - whether they want to hear it or not.

The memories of my Mom will give me the fuel to go forward. Even if and when the dwarves tell me they hate me, that I don't understand them or that they will never forgive me for ruining their life.....I know that the memories will always be there and will prove to them that my actions have spoken louder than my words.

So my fellow mommy bloggers, keep writing down those events, those blow outs and those disappointments as well as the glorious achievements. In the end, our actions will always speak louder than our words....

Feel free to add your memory or comment.