More Reasons to Move

Submitted by manodogs on June 8, 2007 - 11:28am.

Posted in instinct | manodogs | The Run Down |

| 508 reads »

I posted earlier on how I needed to move from where I live, but I was specifically referring to the immediate vicinity - e.g., out of the apartment complex. But I have wanted to move out of The South (technically, it's most often called Tha Souf or Da Souf) for pretty much my entire life.

I loathe The Bible Belt for so many reasons, but the main one is the overwhelming hypocrisy which drives this whole thing. These people aren't real Christians - far, far, far from it! These people pay lip-service to Christianity and, much like The Spanish Inquisition, use their bass-ackward, drawn in crayon "religious beliefs" to justify all sorts of human rights offenses.

Here then, are two cases in the news right now:

Some cracker in Alabama... excuse me. Ahem. A Senator in Alabama punched another one on the Senate floor yesterday 'cuz he done talked 'bout his mama.' No joke. The offending Senator said the Senator he punched called him a "sumbitch," and "Where [he's] from, that's a insult to yo mama."

Suh? I say, suh? You O-fend me.

The judge in the Mary Winkler case droned for 25+ minutes over a bunch of legal nonsense before finally sentencing her to 3 years in prison. During this half-hour drawl in which he literally massacred the English language, saying the victim was "laying" and then going "farther" into the legal concerns, onlookers behind Ms. Winkler yawned and rubbed their heads impatiently.

If you are outside of the Bible Bay-ult and know of a nice place to rent or for sale, please - PLEASE, I BEG OF YOU! - let me know immediately.

June 8, 2007 - 1:44pm

You could come to OZ-Kansas

ammorton Says:

but I still think this is the bible belt. Lots of farmers, and flatland. Not a whole lot to talk about. We do have our fair share of "rednecks", which for me is hard to put up with. I tend to sway the way of the bikers in this area. There are lots, and lots. here. We could hook you up with a scooter, and a chick on the back, sound good?

June 8, 2007 - 2:00pm

My M-m-m-m-moped

manodogs Says:

"It's only a Moped if you pedal!" - Frasier Crane

- Manodogs

June 8, 2007 - 4:34pm

hey-mopeds are making a comeback!

ammorton Says:

there are a few people who actually ride them around town. This one guy rides on one and it is funny because he is covered in tats up and down his arms, has those big piercings in his ears, and in his nose. He is a pretty cool guy, but it just doesn't look right, lol. With gas prices what they are, more people are using them.

June 8, 2007 - 2:32pm

Dem Dumb Crackas

manodogs Says:

Dey done made da nashnul news! ShEEEEEEEE-haw!

They asked senator Bishop to leave that day and he did so, but I would personally have made a motion to have him unseated or expelled completely - however that works over dere in 'Bama. The senator who was sucker-punched has not decided if he will press charges. Stupid Southern bullshit; I'd have pressed charges that day.

Here everyone is, saying how Paris Hilton "done got what she deserves," and yet no one bats an eye at these good ol' boy crackers, duking it out in the middle of a state institution.

- Manodogs

June 8, 2007 - 3:24pm

Well there's always the greatest bible belt of them all

Sassys Says:

Sassys

Georgia on your mind?? LOL

June 8, 2007 - 6:01pm

Ugh. I grew up in the great

IntricateGirl Says:

Ugh. I grew up in the great big diamond studded ro-day-oh buckle of the Bible belt, ya'll. I feel for you. When I paged at the State Capitol, one Senator had just picked up a brass spittoon and hit another over the head with it.

June 14, 2007 - 10:02am

Lorrr-deee! I do feel fer ya', MD.

Pussy Willow Says:

Hell, I'm stuck on the edge, here in Texas, where it ain't much better, I'm a-tellin' ya.

Let's all pack up, move to Reno, rent a HUGE house and create our on blogger commune. Whatta ya say? We could even have nude Tuesdays...nope, nope, I misspoke. Nude Tuesdays are out, it'd have to be nude Wednesdays. Hope that's not a deal breaker for anyone.

June 14, 2007 - 10:38am

The bible belt

spookyyank Says:

It's funny how more often that belt's used to slap folks with, huh? When I did my days orrientation for 7-11 I remarked how odd it was to see how many people in town still use checks. The manager reminded me of being in the bible belt and how technology is the devil. The devil you say?!

That's just one thing I miss about New Orleans. It was still the south, but at least we all had a live and let live attitude! Of course, we were all drunk..........

(whine) I luv you maaaaan!

June 14, 2007 - 10:51am

Spooky?

manodogs Says:

You're not getting my Bud Light.

- Manodogs

June 14, 2007 - 11:11am

bud light?

spookyyank Says:

Naw! In PA we drank Yuengling (can't spell it! pronounced ying-ling) Best beer on EARTH! And, I'LL share!

June 14, 2007 - 12:12pm

The Pop-Culture, Cross-Referencing MD

manodogs Says:

That's from an old commercial, where the guys would be doing whatever and drinking Bud Light, and the one would say, "I love you, man!" and the other guy would go, "Dude? You're not getting my Bud Light."

- Manodogs

June 14, 2007 - 2:46pm

oops

spookyyank Says:

Went right over my head! Sorry, blonde moment

June 14, 2007 - 10:52am

No Charges

manodogs Says:

I was literally reading this (talk about serendipity!) when FNC updated the story and said no charges will be filed.

You dumb crackas.

- Manodogs